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NCAA Approves Taunting Rule, Solves World Hunger

by Spencer Hall • Apr 15, 2010 11:26 AM EDT

This is the stupidest rule change in the history of a committee devoted to spitting out a slow but steady pile of spectacularly stupid rule changes:

Beginning in 2011, the committee approved another proposal that will disallow touchdowns for taunting, if the foul occurs before the player scores.

Thus the NCAA Rules Committee, after a series of incidents last year where referees made dodgy calls on unsportsmanlike celebration penalties in high profile games, has decided to assist in the slow transformation of officials into interpretive dance judges by allowing them even more sway over pivotal moments in the game.
Oh, and they also gave them the power to revoke scores if “celebration” happens before they score based on where the celebration starts.

Congratulations, NCAA: you’ve created a football environment that allows for less fun than the NFL and more officiating confusion than in the NBA. Please send us your mailing address, as we have several dead squirrels to mail you.

(p.s. They're also cracking down on eyeblack messages, so if guys really want to spread a message they're going to have to start getting facial tattoos. We like this one, because facial tattoos show a commitment to finishing the drill.)

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Comments

This is fucktarded

So what happens now? Let’s say your corner is beaten, the receiver is running 5 yards ahead with the ball. Does the corner start making fun of the receiver’s mama, trying to goad him into taunting so the impending score doesn’t count? Will there be a rule agains that?

Why don’t we just switch the game to competitive sewing circles in sundresses?

by CKGator on Apr 15, 2010 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

I think the offense may choose to decline the penalty in that case. But, yes, it’s a ridiculously retarded rule. Referees can, in the immortal words of Gordie LaChance, “suck my fat one.”

by Tanner B on Apr 15, 2010 11:52 AM EDT up reply actions

This makes me sad.

No. It doesn’t make me sad.

It makes me angry.

Apparently you can play with passion as long as you don’t show any exuberance on the way to the end zone, lest you have a tight ass official decide that you’re taunting and take away the score.

If you’re a wide receiver and you beat your man and are in the clear, you should be excited. You did something outstanding.

I’m stunned, and yet not surprised at the same time.

Pigskin Punditry
"Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee is for closers." ~ Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross

by D-Sing on Apr 15, 2010 11:40 AM EDT reply actions

No worries, guys.

I trust that this new rule will be applied conservatively and justly toward the 18-22 year-old (mostly) black athletes by the 50-something (mostly) white referees.

by decemberist on Apr 15, 2010 11:53 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Not only will it be applied conservatively, but also equally, I'm sure.

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Apr 15, 2010 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions

Just another way for SEC officials to help Alabama.

That’s the only time an SEC official will call it, though we know that already.

by RebelBruiser on Apr 15, 2010 11:56 AM EDT reply actions 4 recs

Rec'd for making me giggle

Nobody grills zebra like SEC fans.

Nobody.

"Those who fear disorder more than injustice inevitably produce more of both." -- Rev. William Coffin

by dcrockett17 on Apr 15, 2010 12:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Are you fucking breathing methane?

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Apr 15, 2010 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Dude, just ignore.

As long as my team is on the good side of shitty calls, I don’t have a real problem with it.

by KarstenDD on Apr 15, 2010 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions

son of a..

no eye flair? I was really waiting for Ezekiel 23:20

by bambakophobia on Apr 15, 2010 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

Or Ezekiel 25:17

Pigskin Punditry
"Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee is for closers." ~ Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross

by D-Sing on Apr 15, 2010 12:31 PM EDT up reply actions

2 Kings 2:23

Speaking of taunting.

by Golden Hand on Apr 15, 2010 1:03 PM EDT up reply actions

John 11:35

Appropriate eyeblack fodder for the taunting rule.

by Archive on Apr 15, 2010 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions

Isn’t the Heisman dude taunting?

by Alabama ManDance on Apr 15, 2010 1:29 PM EDT reply actions

No, he's helping grandma cross the street.

‘Cause that’s just what Heisman himself would do.

"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer

by cantcatchuf on Apr 15, 2010 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions

What are those Cumberland pussies whining about NOW?

You can’t call it running up the score when you don’t attempt a single pass. I bet they didn’t use ringers in a baseball game against Heisman again, either.

by Golden Hand on Apr 15, 2010 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions

Brings up the obvious question...

Every QB since time memorial, has done a little jig, fist-pumped, talked shit from the bottom of the pile, chomped in a lineman’s face etc as the WR is sprinting down the sidelines.

Which penalty assessed? 15 yards unsportsmanlike on the QB or 15 yard “taunting” and loss of score on the team?

What about FGs? As kickers are jumping up and down in someone’s face as the ball is airborne?

Fucking absurd, and way too subjective (and potentially corrupt) a rule to institute, IMHO

"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"

by Stuck in the Plains on Apr 15, 2010 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

And I assume we’ve established clearly what is taunting? I’m sure hope that we’ll never have to put up with case where a WR fist pumps at the 10 yard line as he goes in for the game winning score only. If there’s one thing I hate in my sports it’s emotion and passion.

Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com

by Brent Brookhouse on Apr 15, 2010 2:10 PM EDT reply actions