Analyzing The NBA Halftime 'Analysis'

Everyone knows we watch basketball games in order to hear other people tell us things that are completely obvious. This is especially true at halftime, when we really don't like thinking. In that vein, let's analyze the analysis Magic Johnson, Jon Barry and Michael Wilbon provided at halftime of tonight's Cavs-Bulls game.

(Note: I'm paraphrasing these points).

Magic Johnson: LeBron James is the best player in the NBA and will be for some time.

Analysis: The world must be reminded that LeBron James is good at basketball, and Magic does that in as blunt a way as possible. This is important, because humanity is stupid and sometimes you need to be direct to make them understand. Grade: A

Jon Barry: The other members of the Cavaliers need to make shots for Cleveland to win.

Analysis: Even though LeBron is the best player in the NBA, as Magic Johnson so honorably reminded us just a moment ago, there are four other players who must be on the court for your team. Therefore, because the five members of the other team could theoretically all defend the best player in the NBA at once, the other members of your team must sometimes score themselves. Grade: A

Michael Wilbon: The Chicago Bulls must play better defense, because giving up 62 points in a half is bad, especially for the Bulls.

Analysis: Wilbon expertly allows us to focus on the Chicago Bulls, because there are two teams playing this game. If the Bulls allow 62 points in the second half, they will give up 124 points in the game, and that's a lot of points. Therefore, the Bulls should give up fewer points. Brilliant! Grade: A

We are lucky to have such a great halftime crew. Let's praise them for their amazing analytical skills.