Know Your 2010 Kentucky Derby Horses: Stately Victor

Join us in learning more about the 2010 Kentucky Derby horses competing on Saturday. Today's horse: Stately Victor. 

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Name: Stately Victor

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Pedigree: Why, humble in comparison to some of his company, but he'll try: sire, 4th sub-Earl of Outer Manchester, dam, Marquess Franny D'Alembert of Hackensack, New Jersey, both of whom once received an embossed letter from the Queen herself as the result of a clerical error. Distinguished gentle-horses and ladies down the line, I assure you. 

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Current odds: 99/1, but a gentleman never lets the odds determine his path for him. Unless he is born poor, and then it's best to serve society and just shine my horseshoes, young man. Attempting to improve yourself will only end in tears. Now pass me my snuff box, urchin. 

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Outlook: Life is a forever a struggle against the indignities of being born, chap, but so long as the Union Jack flies over Singapore in the East and Belize in the West, you'll have WHAT WE LOST THOSE?

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Gin, then. In buckets, and make it snappy. 

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Hobbies: Polo, a nice romp of a fox hunt, a relaxing bath and then long evening of billiards at the gentlemen's club, and well put-together cucumber sandwich from time to time.  

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Racing sometimes bums me out because: I apologize for my lack of comprehension, but the devolution of our fine tongue into a mongrelized gutter patois saddens me so. Ah? What dampens my enthusiasm for racing, you say? Their pigheaded refusal to allow horses to wear cummerbunds and tails on the track. No sense of style whatsoever, I say. 

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Shorty on demand? Ah, again, the low modern slang. A gentlehorse keeps such things private, but as a means of open solicitation let me say that Liilian Gish cuts a pleasing figure in her travels across the screen. 

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