President Obama Wants LeBron James To Be A Chicago Bull

LeBron James--ever heard of him?--has yet to decide where to ply his services for next season in the NBA. While the press in New York has taken the pursuit of LeBron to embarrassing lengths, Chicago has a different kind of asset in the coming free agent wars, one that's just ridiculous enough to be newsworthy--EL PRESIDENTE:

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"He doesn't want to tamper," senior adviser to the president -- and former Bulls season-ticket holder -- David Axelrod said. "But as a Chicago fan, the president thinks LeBron would look great in a Bulls uniform."

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Doesn't want to tamper? Mr. President, please. Excessive influence is all that office is good for! Plus, let's be honest, if the President really didn't want to interfere, he would have told Axelrod not to comment. We know "soft" influence when we see it.

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Unfortunately for Obama, though, LeBron James is a known Tory, and is widely considered a lock for the Newcastle Eagles. Rule LeBritannia, baby.

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