â†µUnderstand? Good. â†µâ†µ
â†µSo you've stolen a signed Wayne Gretzky Edmonton Oilers jersey from a sports bar. Congrats, that's quite a haul, Mister Criminal Person. About $1,200 in value. There were probably far less valuable jerseys you could have stolen, but you elected to pinch a fairly valuable one. Good on you. â†µâ†µ
â†µFor now, let's ignore the inartful way that you stole the jersey by taking it in its glass case to the bathroom, smashing the case and leaving with the jersey. That's done. Fait accompli. However, there are a couple things to consider going forward. â†µâ†µ
â†µBy wearing the jersey later, you take a high risk of significantly diminishing its value. Like, anything you do to it will really hurt that $1,200. It's like driving a new car off the lot. Also, there's the matter of when the cops arrive at your home, do you really want to be wearing evidence of your theft? I mean, sure, they probably already have eye-witness (and possibly video) evidence of you taking it, but do you really want to give them the satisfaction of finding you, smoking gun in hand? Sure, you could just be saying to the world, "Oh hell, I'm getting caught anyway. Whatever." But there's dignity to consider. â†µâ†µ
â†µThe takeaway, I would argue, is: don't wear the signed jersey you just stole. This has been our lesson in criminality for today. I hope it serves you well in future heists. â†µâ†µ
â†µ(H/T to â†µBusted Coverage) â†µâ†µ
This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.