Murder At UVA: George Huguely, Yeardley Love, And Lacrosse's Worst Case Scenario

this article strikes a chord with me. Because it was a boarding school, the crazy partying aspect was not as present, but the self-reinforcing, almost hero-worshipping, group of friends was. I think its important to remember that these problems are present in every team sport, from high school football stars in Texas to AAU basketball stars around the country, but they are magnified in lacrosse because of the economic status of many of the players, the visibility of the elite universities, and the relatively new status of the sport.

With that said, this is an absolute tragedy and I hope it prompts not vitriolic generalizations, but rather contemplation about how to improve the culture.

Great Article Sharp

-KH

I think two things need to be addressed separately, outside the scope of this particularly devastating crime.

The first being the hero-worship that goes on in almost every successful sport at any school level. In my high school our football, baseball, and wrestling programs were consumed by steroid use and subsequent coverups and denials 10 years later.

The second, more socio aspect I think doesn’t get looked at enough is the idea of single-gender schools. Both sexes have issues post-private school of adapting. Runaways, sex-driven, party crazed girls and violent, disrespectful, and boarish behaviour from the young men leaving these schools. Its not a direct indictment of the institutions that bring these kids in, but its an unintended consequence.

This drives a fear in me the more some public schools want to move to single-gender classrooms. When a guy between 12 and 17 doesnt learn to communicate with girls, and don’t grow up in a learning environment exchanging ideas and learning how to effectively argue and understand one-another, how can we really expect them to when they’re 20 and not just revert to episodes of yelling and screaming and violent behaviour that they’ve always done because they’ve primarily only ever dealt with other guys??

incredible writing and insight

I was an all conference lax goalie in high school. One that didn’t offer football. On the west coast… It was different but this strikes a chord. Well done.

We always competed with a really wealthy private school. They were our big rivals, the kids that played the dirtiest. George seems like he woulda fit that mold well.

It’s a harrowing reality.

Sharp put some thought into this and has a nice shiny theory….and I’m sure it’s got some validity to it. But the fact of the matter is, there is a huge difference between treating people like crap and making the 100 story leap to murdering a human being.
 
I have a very open mind but I was shaking my head the whole time I was reading the “theory” here. Sharp is shoving the weight off of this kid’s shoulder’s and onto society’s for “breeding” him to become this way. As with anything else in a person’s life, I fully believe that poor parenting is directly related to the way they turn out. Sure, the LAX culture produces godlike fame for these guys that “transcends” them to another level above the norms of society, but that doesn’t drive them to kill another human being….no matter how emotionally detached they happen to be.
 
Here is one thing that I WILL blame society for. We are getting to a point where nobody is being held accountable for their actions anymore. There’s always some other reasoning behind it. i.e. upbringing, mental sickness, rage, “oh he’s a football player”, “that actor that ruined their life with drugs was in the spotlight so much that I understand and I feel so bad for them”. I personally think this is one of the things that is contributing to our decline as a country and this is just another example of it.

Mr. Sharp – Firstly, I would like to applaud you on this article; it is insightful, incredibly well-written, and captivating. Unfortunately, your generalizations of the lacrosse community are not only off-base, but offensive. Yes, you state several times that this is just based on your experiences growing up in the DC/Prep-School scene, and I understand that. But, you should have kept your generalizations to that scene (or if you wanted to stretch it, MAYBE the lacrosse prep school scene in America). I am sorry to inform you, but your vision of the lacrosse scene in America is skewed. I grew up in Nassau county, Long Island, I played lacrosse in my youth, high school, and then in college, and the “privileged”, non “real world” lifestyle that you described did not apply. Yes, there were “privileged” kids, and many of them were disrespectful, self-involved, and condescending. But guess what? I know many soccer players, football players, baseball players, and golfers who also possess these qualities. Just because your friends fit this mold, and they happened to be lacrosse players, does not mean that lacrosse players in general encompass these attributes.

The top 10 list of lacrosse high schools was nice, but it doesn’t paint the full picture. Places like Farmingdale, Oceanside, and Hicksville (just to name a few), are fantastic lacrosse High Schools that send dozens of athletes to Division 1 schools each year – these places are extremely different than the DC-Prep School lacrosse scene that you described, and the athletes coming out of these communities couldn’t be more different from the friends you grew up with.

I respect your article, I really do, but I wish you wouldn’t have generalized lacrosse so much, because it’s unfair to the sport, and so many athletes across the country who are far removed from the posh, and snobby , lifestyles that you grew up with.

What happened to Yeardley is horrible, to say the least. George Huguely’s path may have been different if he hadn’t had the upbringing he did in the DC-prep school scene – this much is true. To state that the sport of lacrosse needs to take a step back and “take an honest look at what happened” is unfair to the sport and also to thousands of people across the country who play lacrosse and are nothing like the people you are describing.

Thanks. Takes some balls to write this but its pretty much on point. If you think that the lax culture in the DC area is not at least partially responsible for this, youre in too deep just like Huguely was.

Although I am a rough 20 years from having attended an all women’s college in Boston, I have to say, this article brought me back instantly.

This is the best writing of the case at hand.

Thank you for your courage, and I’m hoping that I’ll be reading your editorials along side Frank Rich and Maureen Dawd in the future.

What about the blue collar families who raised their kids playing lacrosse? What about the kids who went to public schools and did not have the atmosphere you describe? What about the kids who went to private schools on scholarship and paid a fraction of these tuitions you quote and played lacrosse? You unfortunately throw every lacrosse player into the category described and it’s just not accurate overrall. No doubt Hueguely fit this mold but not everyone who plays lacrosse in 2010, may have been accurate 15-20 years ago. Please be careful with your generalizations. I see you as someone who was wronged by one of these laxers in the past and now use stereotypes haphazardly, possibly something you once condemned.

Guys….Let’s remember…Huguely murdered a person. MURDERED A 22-YEAR OLD GIRL. I understand that he was a lacrosse player, who are thought of as jerk-offs, so it’s a convenient and comforting fit to put the connection to the sport.

But this guy obviously had mental problems that had nothing to do with playing a sport. I’m guessing if he tore his ACL in high school, he would still be George Huguely the Murderous Communications Major.

I know, he played a sport so we have to put a sports spin to it…but there isn’t one. He’s simply a murderer.

I don’t think Sharp is attempting to impugn lacrosse altogether. As most have noted, that this god worship is prevalent in most sports at all levels. I very clearly understood that he was speaking from only his point of view and past experience. I have never played lacrosse, never watched it, so this world is alien to me. I didn’t grow up going to an elite east coast prep school. Sharp has the insight to point the looking glass inward and ask important questions that some people are quick to write off as gross generalizations. He doesn’t look past the fact the Haguely has been charged for an unspeakable crime. But he has the courage to examine how George Haguely’s upbringing and immersion in the culture of an elite DC area prep school lacrosse program may have contributed to an already disturbed individual.

As someone who is far removed from lacrosse, rest assure that I do not come away from this article thinking that all lacrosse players are murdering sociopaths. Nor do I think that all kids who went to east coast prep schools will wind up being charged with murder. So to those who are afraid that this is some generalization of lacrosse players, I don’t think that’s what bothers you about this article, I think what troubles you most is the questions that it poses.

I can relate. Grew up in Baltimore. Embarrassed to say I was too often a part of this social scene. Never understood why people respect a semi-entertaining sport unknown to the rest of the country. Why do girls love these guys, many of which have no real talent or redeeming qualities. There are a short list of good guys, but honestly the list is very short. If you have a “yea, but” attitude about this article you are just not living in reality. If you think lacrosse culture did not have something to do with this murder you are lying to yourself. Yeardley was an angel, and for those who think blacking out and doing coke is funny remember that it only takes about 20 minutes of being a blacked out pretty boy to ruin your life and become an inmates girl friend for the better part of your life. This indefensible little punk had better not disrespect the love family and try to defend himself

This is a first-rate piece— better than any written so far. An honest look inside the sport.

This piece of garbage is a perfect example of how there are far too many blogs, web-zines, etc. and not enough talented writers to provide content for them. Speaking as a professional writer with far more familiarity with this subject matter than the author, I’m not sure which horrifies me more: the sad reality that this is what passes for “journalism” these days or the number of imbeciles offering “best piece ever written” plaudits in the comments section. High praise from fools. This reads like a meandering screed penned by a spurned high schooler with an axe to grind. I feel dumber simply for having wasted my time reading it. Twice. The second read was to make sure it was as bad as I initially thought.

In addition to being long winded and flat out inaccurate, the writing is lazy and a grammatical mess. Cliches such as “a senseless tragedy of unspeakable proportion” and “at the end of the day” smack of the lowest of the bottom feeding tabloids, which, it appears, are the only thing the writer has ever read. My favorite might have been the line “and don’t be surprised if the police report reveals that there were drugs in his system that night”. Who wrote this? Liz Smith? Perez Hilton?

One note for the writer to take with him… When referring to a person in a sentence, use “who” or “whom”, not “that”. As an example: It is not: “George Huguely was an elite lacrosse player THAT went to an elite prep school” but rather: “George Huguely was an elite lacrosse player WHO went to an elite prep school”. There, I just made you a better writer. Or less terrible one.

Learn the tools of your craft, Andrew. Until then no intelligent person will take you seriously.

As a working mother of 3 boys who play lacrosse and go to a prep school in the DC area, I think the author is extremely irresponsible to label lacrosse players and boys that go to prep schools with these terrible qaulities. What will boys that play lacrosse and go to a prep shcool think when they read this. We are not rich, we work really hard, we don’t go on expensive vacations, we stopped eating out a couple years ago, we sacrafice so the boys can get an outstanding education and play sports that they enjoy. We invest in a prep shcool education because we feel it will be a wonderful learning experience for them and give back to them for a lifetime. We feel responsible for molding them into good young men with character, morals, empathy for others, respect for others including women and those with less than themselves. We hope to have enough influence on them so that the culture of their school and lacrosse team does not take them over as human beings…in fact, we hope that they influence and help shape the culture of their school and lacrosse teams in a positive way…otherrwise it is our fault as parents, not their lacrosse teams, and not their schools. This tragedy is not about lacrosse or the cons of all boy prep schools, or UVA. This tragedy is about one individual who had serious, undiagnosed problems. Substance abuse problems are rampant across students in highschool and college, ones that play sports and ones that don’t. Should lacrosse teams, highschool and college, take stock and ensure that as a young man’s major support system, that they proactively address and try to mitigate the suspected cultures of entitlement and substance abuse? Ofcourse! Could this young man’s support systems have been more effective at detecting these problems before tragedy struck – yes – and that is where our energy should be focused, not on bashing lacrosse and/or all boy prep schools.

Very refreshing to read such an openly self-critical piece.

I went to a Va. boarding school but was originally from a region where SEC football reigned supreme and I was ignorant of the east coast lacrosse scene to say the least. I ended up at UVa and immediately turned a mild case of disdain into full fledged contempt. What I noticed out the starting gate was what a “small town” mentality some members had. I mean it wouldn’t have irked me so much if these were just a bunch of hayseeds from Paducah, Kentucky, but most of these guys were wealthy and presumably well educated.

But then I began to think about it more practically. I mean the whole lax mentality, if you are part of the club, is actually quite clever. It’s about keeping the club closed, mostly free from competition from African Americans and other more athletically gifted types… It’s about projecting an aura of supreme confidence, leading a dual existence in a party play-land, stocked with booze, recreational drugs, and a steady flow of sexy sorority girls. Dad pays the tab and all the while everyone more or less gets treated like rock stars.

The problem in changing this culture in response to this awful tragedy is that alpha males will always take whatever route in college which, like Occam’s razor, leads to the easiest, most direct route to the sorority house. And the best looking girls are preconditioned to be attracted to this. Nobody joins the team or makes it through fraternity rush without understanding that. As Waylon Jennings puts it, “ladies love outlaws like babies love stray dogs.”

This was a great article and I mean no disrespect to the more enlightened lax players. My basic thought is that it is going to be a very challenging culture to change and it will have to occur lock step with a change in what girls find attractive in men, since the two are mutually dependent. The sooner it changes the better….

I’d like to reply to Sharp’s piece. I’m just the single mother of a lacrosse
player that I sent to prep school via hard work and financial aid.I am far from wealthy and there is no “old money” in my past. I grew up in Charlottesville, a “townie” drinking and partying at UVa, some of which I remember, some of which I do not, some of which I wish I did not.I share this so that you can decide if my voice is biased or has merit.

 I am not a crafted writer, but I must respond to Sharp because I feel he unfairly reflects this tragedy onto a great sport.

I have to ask if this really has that much to do with Lacrosse at all, or
even elitists?

One would think this is an isolated case of a young man murdering a young woman. I believe It IS unique and sensational only because of the young, glamorous people and the ivory tower environment.

If this were a case of a young Bill Gates type and a rising female senior
with a book that just made the NYTimes best sellers list, the spin would be on nerdy book worms and computer geeks who lack social skills. Frustrated by limited dating experience, the end is a brutal death for one, at the hands of the rejected one.

 Would we blame the computer nerd culture, or what aspiring writers do in their spare time?

Trust me, there will be a Lifetime movie and an episode on Law and Order based on this. It has the stage setting that intrigues people and gets their attention.

The young black man in the ghetto that beats his baby mama to death won’t get as much national attention but it will be a replay of the scene, a scene that plays over and over every few minutes of every single day, without “lacrosse culture”.

Everyone who murders anyone is part of some type of social class,club,
neighborhood, or school. In my opinion, if he had not been a lacrosse
player, he would have been part of something else. Either way, this young
man had it in him to beat the life out of another human being.

It was/is there. Lacrosse didn’t put it there. If anything lacrosse may have
given him a healthier outlet for his, rage, aggression, ‘I must always
win/get what I want’ personality.Without lacrosse it may have happened sooner.

The one common spin I see is being so out of your mind drunk that the
capacity to keep your ugly compulsions from surfacing is totally
eradicated. Intense emotional pain and alcohol don’t mix well regardless
 of what socioeconomic level , sport, or hobby you are part of. Your access to an expensive lawyer may however diminish your need of accountability.

No, this goes deeper than lacrosse. It is part of a broader societal
problem. The level of disrespect for women and the level of entitlement that many people feel when it comes to what they want verses what they might get from their relationships with their love interests.

It’s part of a societal problem I see in our country born of the ilk that
children should be privy to and weigh in on adult decisions, often having
the loudest voice with the most influence. The rise with every generation of
a pester factor few adults are strong enough to override.

As a childcare provider for 20 years I have seen that all it takes for many
children to get there way is a well played out tantrum, a threat of
embarrassment, or unabashed never ending nag factor. Why would a kid raised
in today’s environment NOT go postal when denied? That’s the real question.
Not why did this happen, but how on earth does it not happen more often?

My guess is conscience, something no sociopath or psychopath has, and
accountability, something one is taught to expect from society and from
themselves, given any self respect.

It starts with society. It starts at home. It starts with brain chemistry
and it is sure to combust with alcohol. It really has little to do with
Lacrosse. That just happens to be the backdrop in this case, albeit a
glamorous one with gorgeous, talented, children of envious financial roots.

I am so sorry for everyone involved, especially the mother’s and fathers.

To repeat, a very well written article.

I went to UVA.in the 80’s it gave me my first exposure to lacrosse. A hall mate first year was a goalie at one of the aforementioned expensive schools, he threw me a stick one day and said “I need some shots” so we trundled out to the intramural fields and I learned how to shoot. The first time I saw a real game was later that spring when the UVA team had a game of some import and advertised it as such, so me and my cohorts trundled out to Scott Stadium to watch this thing we knew nothing about. Of course, we brought some fine Va. Gentleman with us. Never the less, I distinctly remember that day as one of enjoyment for the sport.

Fast forward twenty years, and my wife and I decide to raise the family on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Since I was a Little League All Star, we do the obligatory stint in the T-ball and Machine pitch leagues, but eventually the boy asks to play lacrosse. A neighbor deep seated in the STX world provides a stick and net upon hearing this, so off we go. First reaction: Lacrosse is WAY more fun to watch as as parent, even when you don’t know the rules!

We are now four years into the sport, approaching High School. Had one of the best recent sports memories this spring when I took my son to Byrd Stadium to see the ACC lacrosse tourney. Sheer Joy on both my part and my son’s to see the level of talent over the course of three games. Really rewarding to see him try some ‘things’ he saw at the game at the next practice session his team had.

So, gentle readers, why does this innocence have to get lost? I know my son will face issues regarding social stature and substance abuse, even in our little public school system, but is there any particular reason this sweet, pure game of Lacrosse must be blamed? Just what am I missing?

It sells stories and provides fodder to folks who know little of the sport or failed to make the team, or have a chip on their shoulder toward prep schools, or wealthy people or something else they feel goes hand in hand with being part of the sport.
Every lacrosse player is not a rich brat or foul mouth cad.
And certainly not a murderer.
I also wonder what the statistics are concerning alcohol abuse compared to the general college population, or sports clubs, or young males in general.

An excellent analysis of the Lacrossse culture, but ultimately the responsibility for what happened lies with the two parties involved. This appears to have been a troubled, co-dependent and abusive relationship that was doomed to fail. It is said that they broke up a number of times and he was “aggressive.”

This dynamic is person specific and not the result of a culture that encouraged it. If this were a problem with the sport, then more than one young lady would have lost her life at the hands of a Lacrosse player by now.

He was a deeply disturbed young man who was self-medicating with alcohol to suppress his desperation and anger at not having his pain acknowledged.

 He should have received the help he needed when he jumped off that boat and was tasered by that officer. The root of the tragedy is that he did not take a year off from school and deal with his demons before that poor girl had to.

I went to one of the top ten prep schools in the nation according to Forbes magazine as well as two Ivy league universities, one of which was Princeton as referenced in the article. And allow me to say that privilege does not breed sociopaths by default. Character is destiny and this man’s character was found wanting. What remains to be determined is when and how it was damaged.

This is a tragedy that could and should have been averted. My heart bleeds for both of them, Yeardley and George.

I grew up, played lax, and partied in this culture in the late ‘70s. My son plays at one of the high schools described right now. The author’s description is spot on. Not all the players are like this, but the majority are in my opinion. It is tough to decide between love for the game and hatred of the culture when you are bringing up kids. Luckily my children have not gone down this path and both, although recruited, have chosen not to play in college. Coincidentally, they both also turned down admission to UVa where I played and went to college. I think I’m really happy about that choice.

Huguely was obviously tormented. Had he been offered counseling? Was his anger addressed to any degree, by anyone?
No, Gator, I’m not a 200lb, 6’5" defenseman disguised as a MOM!
My son sent me the article Gator, and I subscribed to comment and defend a sport that has been great for my son in so many ways and a joy for me to watch. It’s a sport with a position for any height or weight individual, where any size can excel. It’s fast and intense.
As in most segments of society it will have it’s share of dysfunctional members.One in every Twenty people is a sociopath. Tough to recognize, and often charismatic, they are manipulative and self absorbed,with no concience. There is no “cure” .as we define it. I feel this man will forever be a threat to society. We will see an oscar winning performance from himover the course of the legal proceedings. He doesn’t want what waits for him behind bars! I hope he is put and kept where we need him despite his connections.
Aside from Huguely and what ever he may or may not be, I do have to concede the negatives do exist. Many players distance themselves from the “country club”, attitude , even many of the club boys. I hope, like my son, more and more boys play for the sheer love of the game, not the shallow “perks” and call out the boys that give the rest a bad reputation

And right now, we all ought to be thinking about this tragic situation. I live in C’ville and as details continue to trickle out I am moving towards the sickening conclusion that there were those who knew this was a violent relationship and did nothing. I’m not talking about coaches or parents (maybe they did, maybe they didn’t), I’m talking about teammates, roommates, friends…those closest to the scene.

Forget lax culture…let’s talk about society in general if we have raised a generation that can’t or won’t say something when someone they know is in dire need of help. In this case, there were two people in need of assistance, and neither got it. Thank you for the article, but I can wait on the review of lax and prep schools. What we need is greater awareness of abusive relationships everywhere in our society, including on college campuses that are wrongly assumed to be all about good times.

Most people are not sociopaths. Most sociopaths are not murderers. Not all murderers are sociopaths. But based on what little we know so far of this horrendous crime, we can speculate that it was sociopathic in nature. Dr. Hare, a forensic psychologist, who has done pioneering work on sociopathy, and adherents of his ideas, do point out that more and more societal arenas do reward, perhaps foster, sociopathic traits—from small-town politics to corporate hierarchies, from small-town football, for a maybe, to big-college Lacrosse. I don’t think Sharp is making the case that Lacrosse teams are a hot-bed of domestic abusers and/ or sociopaths. But whatever the arena, and more so when it is a small one, perhaps we can be alert to how to avoid rewarding or cultivating behaviors that are intrinsically anti-social, especially when we deal with people at a formative stage of life.

Check out The Great Gatsby. In his portrait of Daisey’s arrogant and reckless husband, an ex-athletic hero, Fitzgerald makes a good case for how a variety of factors can come together to make a monster without a conscience or regard for “others.” He doesn’t reduce the whole study to blaming one class of people or one sport or one region anymore than Sharp does. He shows a gestalt. He lets us question that configuration. Seems to me Sharp has done a good job here of that.

I grew up playing Lacrosse at a prep school in the South. Although there are some cultural differences on the grand scheme of things, I can sympathize with this description. We were arrogant, we partied harder than anyone else and we were rarely punished for our actions. We had days where half of the team would show up hung over or even still drunk. We won, so we were untouchable. Our coach was the only person who had any control of us. We hung out with the hottest girls, and most of the other athletes.

I don’t necessarily think that the Lacrosse culture is a postive one to grow up in, but I don’t think that an entire culture should be indicted in the murder of one of its own.

Generalizations can made about any sport, but most of the time when those generalizations are made they are deemed racist. The only reason Lacrosse is the focal point in this case is that it is a sport for the white elite. Lacrosse players often graduate college and go to work on Wall Street, or go to law school and many work for the big 4 accounting firms. I feel like this whole episode has been turned into another excuse for the media to villify the successfull white people of this country.

As a UVA student, I have long and often expressed similar concerns about the “lacrosse culture” Sharp discusses, and likewise with more complicity in it than I would like to admit.

In response to many of the comments above, I think it is worth noting that lacrosse IS different from other college sports in one crucial regard unrelated to the socioeconomic background of those who excel at it: Lacrosse is not a sport at which you can make a living professionally. There’s a big accountability gap there. Lacrosse players at UVA or Duke or wherever are at the tops of their games and also at the end of the road. There’s every reason to live it up. The star players aren’t looking to be drafted, and the coaches aren’t worried about getting their players onto professional teams for the sake of garnering media attention for their programs.

I’m absolutely not saying lacrosse is to blame for this, or that anything else is for that matter. But having known Yeardley, I want to believe there is something we can learn from this, and I think Sharp at least provides everyone with food for thought before another line is drawn in the sand.

They were the best athletes in arguably the most important high school sport in the D.C. area.

What a joke. Only someone who went to Landon or Prep could make such a statement. The idea that high school lacrosse is half as “important” as basketball in DC is preposterous.

I think it’s relevant that for lacrosse, the pinnacle is NCAA competition. That gives these rich, entitled kids an exaggerated sense of how elite they are. An ok but not great player on most other UVA teams would not think be as inclined to think that he was the “man.” Most D1 baseball players know they will never be Chase Utley and most soccer players know they will never be Lionel Messi (or even Landon Donovan), but UVA lacrosse players are at the top of their world.

As a former ACC sportswriter and now a resident of the Charlottesville area, I am quite impressed and encouraged to see the depth, courage and balance of your blog. I am also quite suprised and disappointed that the UVA men’s lacrosse team is simply going on with their NCAA tournament play. That may be the outward vote of players, but this is a time when both coaches and administrators need to take charge and choose what will best serve all parties and a grieving, confused, jolted community that they are still a part of. Stepping back makes sense for everyone here. Learning and healing in regards to the most important questions about life ought to take precedence over a team’s tournament fortunes. More important, the team’s decision to play on or not also greatly impacts the UVA community and those of us around it. I see no evidence to suggest any consideration has been given to the needs of the many, only the needs of the few. It also makes sense to ask a whole lot more questions, to step forward, to take full responsibility and accountability for actions and inaction that may have at least contributed to the cimate of this tragedy – not for blame, but for understanding and rebuilding. The media, too, needs to begin asking many more tough questions and shedding more light on just what happened, how, and why. The statements made so far by UVA administrators, to me, raise more questions than they answer. According to what they have told the UVA community, neither the coach, the AD, the dean of students or the UVA president knew a thing about George Huguely’s arrest and probation for his violent acts in Lexington – actions far more serious than transgressions that result in other students getting kicked out of shcool. From being around college coaches for many years, it is extremely hard for me to imagine a coach especially being unaware of an event like that, especially on a team with a history of arrests. I certainly can’t say who knew what and when, and who failed to act in a repsonsible manner that may have at least lessened the chances of this happening. But I can say that I certainly would like to know, and that I firmly believe that coaches, players and administrators stepping back and stepping up with honesty, clarity, and courage about every aspect of this situation would make a vital contribution to a community that badly needs it.

Sharp writes over and over about the close minded, sheltered lacrosse player, “it’s difficult to blame any lacrosse players who struggle to adjust to normal society, because for many, they don’t get that far until well after college”. Meanwhile his entire article is about his experiences with this minute faction of the sports world. I ask you to re-read the article and replace east coast and lacrosse with other regions and the predominant sports in those regions and you will understand what I mean, lacrosse is just one of the sports where you see this behavior. Sharp, there is a world outside of your’s too, this isn’t something new.

This is the best-written sports article of this length I’ve ever read. It rivals the quality of reporting seen in lengthy pieces in ESPN the Mag, SI, etc..

No kidding, I created an account on SBNation just to comment on this.

Very well done, sir.

This article made me sick. You begin by stating how its basically impossible for you to write this story yet you go on for some 3000 words with your stereotypical bullshit based on the few lacrosse social circles that you claim to be a part of. It is fucking disgusting. You are using some young beautiful girl’s murder to attack a sport/culture you, for whatever reason (maybe you were the one getting picked on in high school), dislike.
You are a piece of garbage and this article is a disgrace.

Well done Eddie.

I have to agree with the negative comments posted so far. The writer claims some moral higher ground, then proceeds to trash a group of people he really does not know anything about yet obviously envies a great deal. He even denigrates the women who hang around the lacrosse atheletes (must not have been many “tennistitues,” where he went to school, eh?). The only thing he nailed is that this is a tragedy of unimaginable proportions. Beyond that, this is tripe.

Extremely well written, and I have to agree with your "anecdotal" references. I am now married but several years ago I dated a UVA lax "star-wtf?" he got the word of his full ride to the school early on in his junior year of high school in PA. I made frequent weekend trips from the main line to the college throughout his 4 years to visit him and the debauchery of his teammate and their arrogance was sickening, as were the gaggles of "lose"promiscuous "lacrosstitutes" that flocked around my X. Gross. Really SICK in a bad way.

never work. Ever. “It’s nearly impossible to write about this?” Well, then don’t try, buddy. I don’t understand why anyone would. Oh wait, that’s right… page views. Well, you aren’t helping anyone make sense of this.

The way you talk about lacrosse could be said for literally every group activity in college, from any sports team to any fraternity. I grew up in the same community as Huguely, and he was always a fucking asshole. Don’t put his wild, psychotic bullshit on everyone similarly situated, and certainly not on lacrosse.

Were you thinking all these heavy thoughts before this happened? Was this weighing so heavily on you before this shit happened? Think about that.

yes, the writing in this article is deplorable. This only provides another example of how these tony preps schools are failing their students. Sharp did not learn the simple rules of English grammar at his expensive prep school. Huguely escaped some of the basic life lessons at his.

What are their parents paying for? A gold card, not an education obviously, that would take their kids to the highest levels of influence and wealth. That is what mattered, not that their kids gained any knowledge or became better people or earned respect and learned tolerance.

The gold pass to brilliant connections is what these schools are about. Nothing may interfere with that, like a failing grade, an arrest, any sort of accountability.

Do I know of where I speak? Yes, all too well.

While there is some truth to various scenarios you describe, this article does nothing but slander a sport that has grown immensely and has slowly started to shake its no longer relevant image as a “rich boy’s sport.”
You try to downplay these gross generalizations about lacrosse and wealthy areas by saying “yeah but that was me, so no offense” yet you do such a disservice to so many families who work their butts off to do everything they can to give their kids a good life, as well as the children of these parents who, whether or not they were born into “money” find themselves also studying hard and working extremely long hours to accomplish their own achievements.
I live in an affluent town, and the “entitled little rich brat” is not the norm but rather the small minority that makes people outside of the situation feel better about their situation.
Make no mistake, I am not from money and I am middle class in an upper middle class town. Yet I see people all around me doing what they can to make their own situation better, and their own luck, which I strongly respect.
You just perpetuated a bias that isn’t the full story- lacrosse, or should I say wealthy lacrosse player syndrome isn’t what killed Yeardley Love- just the same way all black football players aren’t statutory rapists just because of Lawrence Taylor.
This article shows a very small-minded individual’s point of view, and other small minds now feel better about themselves and their situation. That’s all you accomplished.

This is a very well written and thoughtful article. Excellent job You make some interesting points, some I agree with, and others I don’t.

First, let me say this is a terrible tragedy. I feel horrible for the victim’s family.

Like Mr. Huguely, I grew up in Chevy Chase, MD, played lacrosse, and attended a D.C-area private school. The school I went to had just as many rich kids as Landon, Prep or St. Alban’s, but it was a MAC school, which is definitely a couple of notches below the IAC in terms of lacrosse quality. Very few of the kids I played with in high school felt entitled just because they were lax players. As a whole, I think the kids on the team were very well behaved and fairly modest. When I went off to college, however, things changed. I played lacrosse for a school that had several kids from places like Gilman, Boy’s Latin, Calvert Hall, Loyola, Severn, and St. Mary’s Annapolis. For those of you not familiar, these schools all come from the elite Baltimore/Annapolis private school league, which is basically a mirror-image of the DC league Landon participates in. When I initially began to socialize with my new teammates, it was shocking to see how cocky they were. As you would expect, I became friends with pretty much all of them, and over time began to behave the same way they did. Among the boorish behavior we participated in—and this is just a small sampling that sticks out to me, now years later.

-going "hogging", the practice of going out on a single evening and sleeping with the ugliest girls we could find and then never speaking with them again—with the winner, the person who was voted to have found the ugliest chick—receiving some kind of prize, like an 1/8 th of pot.
-Three of my five roommates my Junior year were arrested on alcohol violations, including one DWI. A fourth roommate was arrested for drug possession. None of them were kicked off the team. The coach did not even know about some of the alcohol arrests.
-My senior year we threw bags of urine at our freshman players as part of "rookie night", then locked them all in a basement for the night with cockroaches

Now, obviously, I sincerely regret this behavior now that I’m an adult. And many of my former college teammates are still my good friends today. Most of them have grown up and are responsible adults, fathers, and members of the community. But there is no question, some of our behavior during college was terrible.

So, my experience—and it’s obviously just my experience, and that’s all I can go by—is that the "lacrosse" culture was more of a negative influence on my behavior than the "rich Chevy Chase" culture. I was fairly well behaved until I was surrounded with the Baltimore-Annapolis "lacrosse players are god" private school crowd.

First off, I am going to say this is a horrible tragedy. It is terrible what happened to Yeardley and it makes me sick to think about. This kid is obviously an animal. However, I have two points here. One is you need to check your facts. The teams you mentioned are not the top ten teams in the nation. Blaming this on the culture of lacrosse is a cop out. I’ve played my whole life, since i was 7. High school, college and post college. Just because one out of 100,000 of us did something horrible like this doesn’t mean our culture should suffer for it. Ill be honest and call it what it is. People who get a taste of our culture love to hate on it. It is an envy issue. It should not even be brought up in this situation. A women was senselessly murdered and all we can talk about is deflecting blame from the person who actually perpetrated the act. I am from an upper middle class middle atlantic area where lax is a big deal and none of us killed anyone. Do some people have priors on teams ive been on? Yes, Im willing to bet that almost every college team has kids with certain priors on it. BECAUSE its college. Im almost willing to bet that for every athlete that has a prior there are 10 other non athletes that have priors. There is no need to attack lacrosse and its culture because of one monster. Also, teams in the inner city all over the middle atlantic are trying to break into the game, and they are starting too. I’ve seen it many times this year and I think its great the game is expanding. If this was basketball or football we wouldn’t be talking about their sub cultures. So please dont jump down the rest of our throats because some one was severely disturbed. That is all.

I completely agree with the statement above, and this entire article is a massive overexaggeration. while it is true that the sport of lacrosse is primarily played in wealthy towns, this has no affect on the kids who play it. lacrosse players, like the stars who play for UVA, are just like any other prime-time student-athletes. sure, they can be cocky and confident, but that is more of an athletic personality that ALL of the best athletes in any sport maintain to be good at what they do. lacrosse players are not “better” or feel “entitled” to anything in college, they simply have a socail scene that they grew up with, and are comfortable with. Do you not expect the inner-city kids who are basketball stars at kentucky or wherever to hang out with kids in their own “social culture”? If anything, these kids in comparison to lacrosse players have caused many, many more felonies, or in this case, murders, than a lacrosse star from a peaceful, higher-class background. How can a person say that lacrosse players don’t have an image of the “real” world, while they are much more concentrated on studying and going to the best college to actually get a job, because they understand that lacrosse is not a big time professional sport, than the thousands of football players simply playing football hoping to go to the pros, and then they tear their ACL and life is practically over for them? George Huguely is not a representative of lacrosse and its culture in any way. he is simply a monster who is the perfect target for the media because he is white and wealthy, and just so happens to play a sport that was largely connected with what happened at Duke, which was the media’s jackpot of a story.

Reading the descriptions of lacrosse culture behavior, as described here and elsewhere by danog and others, just really makes me wonder: Why does anybody look up to any of these people? Why do they get ANY respect, from ANYBODY?

I seriously don’t get it. There are cool athletes, and there are loser-lug athletes. Baseball, soccer and basketball players = pretty cool dudes, as a general rule. Lacrosse and football players = jerks and losers, as a general rule.

The latter two are the kind that most everybody hates on a one-on-one level, yet they somehow manage to elicit all sorts of respect and acclaim within their respective realms. What in the world is wrong with people? The people described in danog’s post should be widely mocked and shunned. They should be laughed at, by everyone, for being the myopic losers they are, caught up in their little worlds and blind to everything else.

I just can’t even fathom the mindset that would let guys like that be held up on a pedestal, in high school or anywhere else. It’s just bizarre.

I’ve worked in public education for 20 years. I have 2 children now in their 20s who played high school and college lacrosse. We live in central NY which is a radically different world from the culture in the DC/Balt./VA private and prep school environment. All of the inner city schools in the area field lax teams, along with most of the rural and suburban districts. Players come from every socioeconomic level.
My son played on a college team that was filled with prep school guys. Ironically, the behavior that is described here reflects more on my husband’s private college frat life than my son’s experience, but I know that every team, dorm floor, frat, sorority, etc. parties and celebrates with alcohol. My point? Excessive alcohol use/abuse in college leads to bad decisions, some of which are unfortunately tragic. If actual factual research was done, we’d probably find out that most deaths in colleges occur from alcohol-related incidents.
Bullying behavior makes itself known early in life, and until our society and our schools take significant steps to correct and re-educate these young people in alternate ways to resolve disputes, fights sparked by too much beer or whatever will keep occuring. We also, as parents, need to spend a LOT of time educating our kids about when too much to drink is TOO MUCH. Instead we as a society turn a deaf ear and blind eye to the alcohol problems on campus, when we could be having insightful conversations with our kids about knowing their limit. So I don’t necessarily think social status, team affiliation, or jock culture is to blame — it’s a person’s character, exacerbated by lowered inhibitions and reluctance of friends to tell their friends to STOP.

This tragedy is one of the saddest, most horrifying things I have ever heard of. It simply hurts my heart just to think about it. I never would have imagined that someone could have made any sense of it. But the author of this story did.

Generalizations are obviously very dangerous things. But Mr. Sharp’s insight through the experiences of himself and his friends gives great credibility to this absolute POWERHOUSE of an article. This story struck many chords with me and I will be thinking about it for a long time.

WELL DONE!

Thank you for your great article. Your insights are valuable and reflect many of my own. As a former Maryland-based lacrosse player with 2 brothers who were All Americans, I can only – sadly – agree with your assessment although (as is their way) many other lacrosse players, coaches and parents will resoundly dismiss it and try to discredit you (because that is the way they do things, isn’t it?) But the last four decades have not been kind to this wonderful sport, turning it into a travesty of excessive drinking and drug abuse (both men and women), extreme elitism, and hyper competitiveness on the parts of players, coaches and parents. Maryland players are particularly obnoxious, perhaps because they feel they “own” the game. As parents, we have purposefully channeled our sons athletic prowess into other sports where coaches hold their players accountable for their behavior on and off the field, parents are supportive of these rules (instead of hosting illegal keggers every weekend for their kids and friends) and respect on the players part is shown for authority, toward women and toward other players and people.
  I am not sure this is a “wake-up” call for the lacrosse world but I hope it is. Major changes in attitude and accountability for the majority of players, coaches, and parents is long overdue.

I grew up in Baltimore and I played lacrosse. I went to a public school, but lived right in the middle of the private schools (Gilman, Boys’ Latin, Calvert Hall, St. Paul’s, etc.) and knew many kids who were students there. The culture you speak of definitely exists, and the way you describe it is right on—but I am still having a really hard time, at this point, tying the fact that this young man’s background has something to do with the horrific crime he committed. I mean, you could be right—the fact that he grew up in a wealthy area, attending an elite school while being a lacrosse star, very well could have given him the sense of entitlement and reckless disregard for consequences that led him to commit a murder. But, I don’t think there are enough facts available to truly make this connection quite yet. Not because I think this culture does not exist, or because I think he is innocent, or because I have sympathy for him—but because I think connecting his actions to this culture almost creates excuses for what he did, and attempts to take the blame off of his actions. I agree with you 100% on your depiction of the lacrosse culture in the elite private schools, and I definitely agree with your idea that he falls into this category.

Like I said before, I think what you’ve said does have some degree of truth. But, I want the blame to be placed squarely on Huguely, and his own messed-up mind and sick intentions and most likely, anger issues, and NOT passed along or shifted to anything—or anyone—else.

George Huguely and men’s lacrosse has been pretty well analyzed. But, what about Yeardley Love and women’s lacrosse?

Do women lacrosse players display a similar insularity and snobbishness?

Do women lacrosse players party like the men? Or, do they take a different oath?

If the critics of men’s lacrosse at East Coast Universities have legitimate complaints, and I think they do, how does Yeardley Love come to date a lacrosse player?

It appears to me that Yeardley Love’s role is complicit in the “culture” of East Coast University lacrosse – warts and all.

Yeardley and George were in the same “club”. The surprise is not that this grisly crime happened, but that it doesn’t happen more often.

I am a fourth-year student at UVA who knew both Huguely and Love. I understand the emotions behind the positive and negative comments on this post because I have felt them both, so I want to clear up some loose ends to Sharp’s piece.

Sharp’s thesis:
“How could someone like Yeardley Love get beaten to death? How can that happen, ever? …. George Huguely’s lacrosse background was definitely part of it.”

This claim has some lacrosse players, fans, and mothers of players upset while others are nodding their heads, in part, because the statement is ambiguous. Sharp provides a thorough description of his own experience with lacrosse culture, but he doesn’t clearly state the extent to which lacrosse fits in this murder. So where does it lie?

There are two ends of the spectrum. On one end, Huguely’s lacrosse background made him a murderer or in some way facilitated his development into a murderer. The argument here is that Huguely’s sense of entitlement, wealth, and membership in the lacrosse culture had something to do with his ability to kill. This argument is entirely false. The will and capability to kill must be placed on Huguely the individual. As many have said before, wealth, entitlement, and the throes of lacrosse stardom may produce some assholes, but they do not give someone the urge and ability to kill. Saying that a better environment might have kept Huguely from going over the tipping point is nothing more than speculative.

On the other end of the spectrum, lacrosse is entirely irrelevant to the story. The argument here is that if Huguely is a psychopath, the sport of lacrosse has no relevance to the murder. This is also false. Lacrosse culture as described by Sharp in this piece appears relevant because of Huguely’s aggressive past. Huguely’s behavior went unrebuked and unreported too long. Unfortunately, it is a fact of college in America that many students drink to excess, and Huguely would have likely drank until blackout amongst other social groups. The lacrosse culture he belonged to, however, seemed not to provide accountability for Huguely’s past aggressions. For this failure, the lacrosse culture deserves a hard look.

Note:
While there may be much to disdain about lacrosse culture, we cannot implicate Huguely’s teammates. Regardless of the warning signs, no one could have fathomed that Huguely was capable of murder. As a fourth year at UVA, I can avow that murder just doesn’t enter the realm of thought. Under a different culture, the same teammates might have shown less tolerance for Huguely’s behavior, but there is no way they could have known Huguely was capable of murder.

You mention the St Paul’s in Maryland, but your link goes to the (much tonier) St. Paul’s in Concord, NH.

most of what is said is right on….i played major d-1 lacrosse and was.an all American..and in retrospect i was not such a nice kid back then….most of my friends are now the coaches at these places….and they all partied . ..Party hard and play hard… its the culture…can it change??? i dont know…
i have to agree that there is no way that anyone would have known that Huguely would end up killing Ms. love. its off the scales..
my bet is he was so drunk and high that he does’nt even remember what he did…

Come on, people. It is a nice article, with a few semi-pithy points, but, let’s be honest here, he says the same things over and over.

I won’t go so far as some of the other more aggressive critics, but it is obvious to ANYONE with any sense of good writing that Sharp is repeating himself. A good editor would have cut out 40% of this article (at least) and tightened up the points and prose considerably.

Sharp seems to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder, but a lot of decent opinion artticles start from that premise. Last time I checked, SBNation is about opinion.

But it is also about providing a quality experience to the visitor by having interesting and high-quality writing, and Sharp fails that test. Mr. Sharp, please, do us a favor. After you finish your next screed…. READ IT AGAIN… with a sharp blue pencil, and keep asking yourself, “Did I already make that point”? and “Can I say this more tightly”? Trust me, you… and Us… will be glad you did..

The author is simply presenting an article for you to read, digest, and then form an opinion based on his information. It’s not based on science or facts, nor does it claim to be.

Attacking his grammar or writing style is completely off topic and pointless and just goes to show that the half the people aren’t reading this articles for its purpose.

He is talking about nature vs. nurture – how the two have interacted to create this monster. Yes, angry lacrosse mother’s out there, this could’ve been your son. As it could’ve been a football player, soccer player, etc… This article is not blaming the parents, as it shouldn’t be. As someone there age, I can tell you first hand that where you grow up and who you grow up with has the biggest impact on how you turn out. Your peers and surroundings influence you – no matter how "independent" you are. When the wrong personality and people and situation all align, we are left with this terrible outcome.

Stop acting like the author is saying that because George played lacrosse, that he committed this crime. He is simply saying that the lacrosse culture he grew up around may have helped shape his personality which, in turn led to this murder.

The entitled ones who become so narcistic are in All sports.

I can think of legacy families in the racing industry who think “the rules don’t apply to them.” Children are not yet adults until they are 23, that is why we want tem to go to college. The entitled who objectify woman such as (Go-daddy and the Girls-next door) come to beleive that woman are objects…..
Fast living is no excuse for this behaviour. Sadly it HAPPENS EVERY DAY to our beautiful young woman in America.
Wherever their is beauty-evil is lurking right behind,,,,
Racecar drivers stand-up AND become role models.
 
Objectifying woman leads to bad behaviour that can become a deadly force-

As a past victim of domestic abuse, this case sickens me to the core. Like many others, I don’t understand why Ms. Love allowed this person back into her life when he treated her in such a disrespectful and demeaning way. He crossed the line when he yelled, screamed, called her names . . . I don’t care how wealthy he is, what sport he played, how “valuable” he was to his team. He was a bully, and a mean drunk, and no one tried to stop him. Especially his parents.

Stop and think for a minute. Young man from obviously wealthy parents, in a community of wealthy people. Attended private schools/prep schools. Played an elite sport at a high ranking college. From the outside, he looked like he could write his own future. In fact, maybe even run for office someday. He definitely had the credentials, the connections, the money. All that was lacking was a clean background check with no embarrassing incidents.

Apparently, he had that, too. How many people have spoken up to say that Mr. Huguely was an A$$ going way back. How often did he display a terrifying temper? How did his family keep his arrest from UVA officials and the coaching staff? He had a drinking and substance abuse problem. Why didn’t anyone intervene?

I feel certain Mr. Huguely realized he had big problems. I also feel that his past taught him how to avoid any consequences due to these problems. I also believe he learned his attitude at his father’s knee.

I think Mr. Sharpe’s article pointed the finger not just at Lacrosse, or at wealthy families & private schools (same sex or not), but at the sickening combination that tolerates an attitude of untouchability. Not one person in this man’s life believed he should be called out for his behavior. Not one!

This man could have run for president some day, and so many American would have looked at his credentials, others would have kept quiet about his evils, still more would have voted just because he belonged to their social class, or political party, and he would have had a great chance at being elected. Wouldn’t that have been the ultimate power over people’s lives? What a head trip for someone who believed himself untouchable.

What I take from this article is not that "lacrosse culture" created the Huguely monster …. it’s that it allowed the monster to flourish.

(Also, I’d like to replace the term "lacrosse culture" with "narcissistic entitled frat-boy/jock culture" because I think we all know that it exists across many different sports, and also outside of sports.)

Why did Huguely’s bad behavior go unchecked for so long?

One, because he was protected by his elite athlete status (and almost certainly by his wealthy family).

Two, because society has come to expect and EXCUSE that behavior as typical of the entitled frat-boy/jock.

Now, why we as a society think this behavior is harmless, I don’t know. These are the guys who destroy property, bully others, and sexually mistreat women, all in the name of brotherhood and the college experience. But the fact is that most of these guys, obnoxious as they are, don’t kill people.

So Huguely, a dangerous man, slid by for years under the cover of an obnoxious one. No one recognized the warning signs, simply because they looked far too much like the behavior we’ve come to expect of his kind.

It’s time to stop excusing the bad behavior. The jocks and frat boys need to man up; the colleges and universities need to take a stand; and the vast pool of potential victims needs to come together and learn how to protect themselves as best they can.

I grew up in the same area as the author of this article as well as Huguely. I knew many people in the same crowds and witnessed a lot of what the author is talking about. Yes, these observations were very accurate. But with that I should point out that the spoiled nature, feelings of entitlement, etc. is not just limited to lacrosse players in the area. It seems to be the mentality of most of the private school kids in the D.C. area. And what made me sick to my stomach is the constant excuses the author makes for these “poor” rich boys.
Just because these schools, as you say, “shape teens differently,” is that an excuse for their behavior? And is it really just lacrosse giving them the entitlement, or could you possibly factor in their home life as well? As you seem to put it, these teens grow up in a bubble. This bubble does not consist of lacrosse alone. But I’m getting away from myself here. I could go further into the many problems in your article, but what I want to focus on is the part that really outraged me.

In your section “Explaining the Culture” you talk about the culture-“Lush with wealth, privilege, shiny exteriors”-and how it does not prepare them for the real world. I say boo-hoo. And THEN you have the nerve to say “In this way, it’s difficult to blame any lacrosse players who struggle to adjust to normal society, because for many, they don’t get that far until well after college.” I can’t even begin to describe my outrage. You make it sound oh so sad. You use that as an excuse for such awful behavior. These poor well-to-do kids, leading very fortunate and cushioned lives. HA! Maybe the parents of some other these self-entitled snots should have taught them about the outside world, but more than likely their parents feel just as much entitlement as their kids, if not more. So I guess in that case I feel bad for them, until I realize that they are capable of figuring out those things for themselves, even while living in their bubble. And of course I could get into the boatload of psychological problems this Huguely boy more than likely has (which probably carries more weight to the reasons behind his actions than your theory), but that really isn’t my place since I am not a health care professional nor do I know this kid personally.