Let's All Freak Out Over Tiger Woods' Commonplace Sports Injury

After Tiger Woods withdrew from the Players Championship with a neck injury, we could have guessed that there would be plenty of reactions like this:

Today is the 1st day I started to think, is it possible that Tiger never returns to his old self?

The prevailing theory at the moment, held by Mr. Woods himself, is that he has a herniated disc. For the record:

A herniated disc is: a fairly common injury, diagnosed when a spinal disc pushes outside of its normal boundary, and can often be treated with rest and a heating pad

A herniated disc isn't: when part of your spine muscle [?] fractures and falls off, and sort of floats around in your sarcophagus [is this the right word????] for a little while until it sinks all the way down to your feet [where your food goes after you eat it] and you can't walk anymore and then you die

And even if we just choose to stick with what we know for certain -- that a 34-year-old man left a golf course because his neck hurt -- is that something to freak out about? Are we somehow trying to work this into the narrative of Tiger Woods' recent personal problems? Is he such a troubled individual that his neck hurts? You're probably going to hear this sort of stuff in the coming days; my advice is to disregard it.