At a Virginia Beach nightclub last night, a scuffle broke out, and someone was shot.
Hold on a second. With all due respect to the town that gave us Pharrell and Clipse, couldn't you read that headline like every single morning in Virginia Beach?
Ohhhh... I see now. The shooting happened outside a party hosted by Michael Vick. Okay, then. Gentleman, what we need now is someone to sensationalize this story. We've got Michael Vick, a poster child for poor judgment, and we've got a crime that quite possibly happened while he was within a 100 yard radius. Who out there is man enough to make a taboo out of this story? Mike Florio of NBC's Pro Football Talk, come on down!
Eagles quarterback Mike Vick, who remains on federal probation following a two-year prison term for dogfighting, celebrated his 30th birthday with a party at a Virginia Beach club. And, apparently, one of the games was pin the tail on the donkey.
BOOM! Top that, Limbaugh. Monsters like Vick? At their birthday parties, they play pin the tail on the donkey... With bullets. This is how people on probation celebrate, folks. Surprised? Me neither. I'm just glad we've got someone like Florio. You know, someone that sees the forest from the trees.
(takes off idiot journalist hat)
Really though, it's a fine effort there. Through humor, he's able to talk about Vick like a child AND a delinquent, tacitly associating him with the guilty parties from Thursday night's shooting, even though there's not a shred of proof tying him to the shooting.
Oh yeah, and did you know Mike Florio used to be a lawyer? I heard that somewhere when I started writing on the internet. Cool. So his legal interpretation of the situation should be spot-on:
Though there's no indication that Vick was involved in the shooting, the mere fact that someone possibly came to the birthday party of a guy on federal probation with a gun in his (or her) possession could invite the feds to examine very closely whether Vick has honored all terms of his supervised release -- which usually includes not hanging out with folks who carry guns.
Oh, wait. That's just vague, completely unwarranted speculation, isn't it? There's no indication Vick was involved, but federal agents will possibly look closer at Vick these days? And if they look closer, they could wonder why he's hanging out with folks carry guns? Statements that are really questions?
Maybe possibly? More like definitely, folks. And sure, it'd be impossible to prove Vick knew they had guns. And no, hanging out with someone who's illegally carry a concealed weapon without your knowledge is NOT a crime... But that completely misses the point.
Florio's point? Guys, Mike Vick and his "associates" were playing pin the tail on the donkey last night. With bullets. It's funny, yeah; but ask yourself this: What is Michael Vick teaching your kids? Are we going to standby idly while this happens to our National Football League? No. We're not. Send this to your friends, guys. Spread the word. Mike Vick hasn't changed. (Plus: Pageviews!)
The actual point of this story? There were probably 1,000 people at that party that Vick didn't know. And in Virginia Beach, it's sad, but shootings happen. So was Vick "hanging out with folks who carry guns"? Maybe, but he was probably just hanging out in his hometown, at a crowded club, celebrating his 30th birthday.
(Clipse image via)
UPDATE: For more on the Vick situation, click here. It seems that Vick did, in fact, know the victim, though police maintain he's not a person of interest in the case.