There Will Be No Sex For the British at the World Cup

Fabio Capello, the Italian coach tasked with heading the English national team in this year's World Cup, has pinpointed the one thing that would surely lead to his squad's downfall in the tournament: rank lasciviousness! Which is why Capello has imposed a moratorium on his players having physical relations with anyone, including girlfriends or even wives.

How does he plan on enforcing such a draconian policy? Surely he won't be able to monitor all his players at once during their free time, unless of course he has some sort of secret video access to their rooms. If only...

The tough Italian has already told how he is determined to stamp out any hanky-panky at the World Cup and has banned all WAGs.

And now it has been revealed he will be able to call on his stars 24 hours a day using their hotel televisions.

The thinking appears to be that, since partying and other assorted raucous off-field activities cost the team during the last World Cup in 2006, Capello is going to extreme measures to ensure that his players' thoughts are solely focused on what transpires on the pitch. Of course, that might backfire since now players are left to stress over finding alternate accommodations for the families planning to make the trip to South Africa.

Meanwhile team doctors have said that engaging in sex while the tournament is going on could actually be of help to the players. So if England falls short this year, it will be interesting to see what salacious plans their coach will have to counter their failure for the next World cup.

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.