Here's how SB Nation recommends you operate your television set on Sunday, July 11. All times Eastern.
2:30, ABC - World Cup final. Netherlands vs. Spain.
3:00, CBS - Round 4 of the John Deere Classic.
3:00, NBC - Round 4 of the U.S. Women's Open.
1:00, TBS - Braves at Mets.
8:00, ESPN - Cubs at Dodgers.
No more sports.
No more sports! Ain't no more! Now leave ya grandpa alone!
6:00, ESPN2 - Minor league baseball All-Star Game.
Now shut up ya face.
'Ey! What's gotten into ya? It's a beautiful Sunday morning, plenty o' sports to watch, and you're sittin' there bein' a Cranky Craig!
Well... hey! Tell ya what! Put on ya shoes, ya grandpa's takin' ya to the park! Oughta swing by the general store, get loaf of bread, maybe we could go feed the duckies. Remember when I used to take ya to feed the duckies? You loved it, must've been about... this high. Figure once we go by the general store to get some bread, we can go do that again. It's gonna be be great. Just you an' ya grandpa. Duckies need food too, y'know!
Huh... well, okay. S'pose you're too big to be goin' to the park with ya grandpa. S'pose I don't wanna embarrass ya. S'pose I'll sit here an'... maybe watch the baseball.