Chris Berman And The 2010 Home Run Derby: A Way Out

Chris Berman either really really likes home runs, or really really hates them and wants all of us to suffer to the same degree that he does. Either way, he and his 'backbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackbackGONE' dinger call have become synonymous with the Home Run Derby, to the chagrin of many who just want to hear the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd, and the amazement of all the All Stars sitting around watching players drill more home runs in one round than the Mariners in a season.

To those of you who just can't bear to listen to Berman tonight, then, I come offering a solution:

Get ready for the State Farm Home Run Derby in 3-D. ESPN announced that this will be its first fully produced program in the 3D format. What you won't get, however are the dulcet tones of Chris Berman telling you it's "Back...Back....Back...Gone".

A separate broadcast team will cover the action on the network's new channel dedicated to 3D programming. Dan Shulman will anchor the show with Nomar Garciaparra and Aaron Boone calling the action.

All you'll need is a 3DTV, which would only run you a few thousand dollars. Go, now, while you still have time!

This isn't, of course, the only way out. It's just the most expensive one. You could also:

• Switch to ESPN Deportes
• Mute the TV and tune in to ESPN Radio with Dave Campbell and Jon Sciambi

On the one hand, 3DTV ownership, the language barrier, and willingness to watch TV while listening to the radio are serious obstacles. On the other hand, Berman.