- 5:40. Here's Rod Carew to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. And now another commercial break. Rod Carew's pitch was immediately preceded by a commercial break. They're actually going to make me beg for the All-Star Game. They're going to make me beg for the All-Star Game to begin.
- Seattle-area writer Larry Stone says there was an unfortunate microphone malfunction during the Canadian national anthem. I didn't even realize they were trying to sing the Canadian national anthem, so cheers to FOX for their error management, and jeers to Canada for having a national anthem I didn't realize we skipped.
- 5:47. Some little girl in the dugout is announcing the NL starting lineup. And now here's some other little kid to announce the AL starting lineup. Didn't we already do this? Didn't we already do it with people older than six? They're messing with us now. They're seeing how long they can string us out. I AM ON MY KNEES FOX START THE GAME
- Tim McCarver suggests the NL hitters try to hit the AL pitchers, and he suggests the AL hitters try to hit the NL pitchers. Analysis. Tim McCarver makes more money than you do. He's making it right now. Hear that? That's Tim McCarver making money.
- 5:50 first pitch. Unbelievable. Hanley Ramirez swings at the first pitch, which I fervently support. I hope everybody swings at every first pitch.
2010 All-Star Game: This one counts
2011 All-Star Game: It still counts
2012 All-Star Game: It won't stop counting
2013 All-Star Game: IT WON'T STOP COUNTING
2014 All-Star Game: SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME TRY TO MAKE IT STOP COUNTING
2015 All-Star Game: IT WON'T STOP COUNTING AND IT'S GOING OUT OF CONTROL
2016 All-Star Game: ...11,235,912,002,123...11,235,912,002,124...11,235,912,002,125...
2017 All-Star Game: ...98,112,003,215,619,354,832...AHHHHHH98,112,003,215,619,354,833...
- A recording of Bob Sheppard introduces Derek Jeter's at bat in the bottom half of the first. There it is. There's the touching, meaningful moment. You can end the game now. Please end the game now.
- A double play! Speeds this thing up! Just need someone to score one run. The first inning took 12 minutes. Good pace. Great pace. This has potential.