'Quitness' Beer To Remind Fans Spurned By LeBron That Life Is Bitter, Hoppy

Great Lakes Brewing Company produces good beer, so I don't feel so bad for falling for their cynical promotional ploy: in the wake of LeBron James' departure from Cleveland, the brewery has released a new beer they're calling "Quitness."

“Quitness”, named for obvious reasons given the recent “Decision”, is a cask conditioned, dry hopped India Pale Ale that is as bitter as the mood of Cleveland these days!

After the jump, I make a baseless assumption.

India Pale Ales are hoppy and bitter by definition, and while I haven't been able to track down an independent account of what it tastes like (BeerAdvocate, for the time being, appears too busy to indulge in such silliness), my suspicion is that although it's cask-conditioned, this beer isn't much more than a textbook IPA.

This would be a great opportunity for Great Lakes to tap further into the mainstream market. Ask any bartender at a place called something like Paddy O'Neagle's Olde Tyme Olden Pubbe, or any other Irish-but-not-really-Irish pub, and they'll tell you that most of the beers ordered during Smirnoff Dance-Off Night or whatever are gas station macrobrews. They might go for a novelty such as Quitness, and if their tolerance for bitterness is light or nonexistent, they'll buy the "bitterness" angle.

In the end, hopefully, the folks who give it a try will introduce them to a world of actual good beer, and might even be compelled in the future to buy a six-pack of Great Lakes' Burning River over a 12-pack of Bud Light for the same price.

I speak this as a man who bought a Vitaminwater, looked at the label, and thought, "Decisionwater!" This whole mess has ruined me.