Diego Maradona Would Make An Incredibad Manager For the USMNT

I will assume Dan Wetzel is joking here; there is no way a sane person possessed of all faculties could have seen Diego Maradona, the job he did managing the most talented team in the World Cup in Argentina, and then suggested he should come to America to coach the United States teams. 

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The United States already has a manager with stodgy tactical acumen in Bob Bradley. Maradona only adds the potential for implosion at any second, a lurking propensity for self-destruction, a dyed beard, outlandish sideline gesticulation, a fondness for telling haters to "suck it and keep sucking," outrageous salary demands, a legal ban on him entering the United States due to drug problems, a pet dog who attacks his face, a history of both shooting and running over reporters, an epic sexual history, possible mafia connections, international tax issues, cozy relations with Venezuelan populist Hugo Chavez, and...and now I realize I'm totally sold on this idea. Let's put him in Miami with a five million dollar salary and see what happens! 

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/is totally kidding

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/sort of

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/may not even know anymore

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