Georgia's Jordan Love Has Set An Unassailable Record For Pettiest Arrest

↵Georgia has a reputation for running up a few points in the Fulmer Cup—which tracks and scores the offseason malfeasances of college football programs—every summer on an array of piddling charges. Suspended licenses, moped violations, the occasional bratwurst harassment (that later turns out to not have anything to do with the football team): Georgia players are very skilled at getting into trouble that doesn't even rise to the level of "boys will be boys." ↵

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↵Jordan Love has just blown the rest of the Bulldog program out of the water, though, as a local magistrate has just upheld his arrest for (drumroll please)… ↵

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↵⇥Love was arrested late Monday night after police responded to a complaint about three individuals shooting off fireworks near a campus dormitory. According to University of Georgia police chief Jimmy Williamson, the responding officer arrested Love after he refused multiple requests to provide his middle name before relenting, and he never provided his birthdate. ↵⇥

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↵If Georgia has one of those boards on which program records in the 40, shuttle, bench, squat, and various other activities are tracked, they need to install a new one for "most piddling arrest" just so they can slide Love in at the top, where he will remain forever or until such time as the hyperactive local police nab someone for loitering at a bus stop. ↵

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↵Love's attempting to convince the authorities that he honestly does not know his middle name because the Lawrence he was named after is a "person with whom the family no longer associates," if only to give the police department a plausible way to save face when they inevitably let the kid go with a harsh word and some rapped knuckles. The police chief is already making public statements that the arrest "should not have been made" and that he will use it as a "learning experience." ↵

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↵Meanwhile, Georgia blog Get The Picture is calling the situation "Kafkaesque" and worrying that opposing coaches might use the Athens police department's tendency to enforce 1840s-era statutes against off-kilter hats as negative recruiting fodder: ↵

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↵⇥“Ma’am, one thing I can assure you of is that if little Johnny comes to our town, he won’t be getting arrested because of his name. Coach Richt is a good man, you ask him if that’s the case in Athens.” ↵⇥

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↵Former Northwestern quarterback Mike Kafka could not be reached for comment. ↵

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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