Note: the video above and some of the quotes that follow contain some NSFW language.
Within the first 30 seconds of Wednesday night's Hard Knocks, there's Rex Ryan, cackling away as he tells his players, "We're right where we wanna be. No question about it. Enjoy this time, get away from it. No matter what you're doing, it's better than my fucking vacation. I'm cruising the Baltic with my in-laws and shit."
...Annnnd we're off.
Did we tell you Hard Knocks with Rex would be awesome? A few more thoughts after the jump.
1. That Speech Is Jibberish, Right? I mean, that's probably the best football speech I've ever heard, so it's only appropriate that makes absolutely no sense.
"You know what guys? It ain't about one guy. It's about leadin the league in fuckin wins on defense. Special teams expectations: I want to lead the league in something. What is it? Wins. How 'bout that?"
Can someone explain how Special Teams can lead the league in wins?
The Rex Ryan parodies on Kissing Suzy Kolber ave long been my favorite thing on the internet, but maybe Drew is just transcribing actual speeches from the Jets locker room...
2. Braylon Edwards Plays For Rex Ryan... LOL. The whole time I was watching last night, I kept giggling thinking about what Rex says to Braylon Edwards when the cameras aren't around. I mean, you gotta think ole Rex questions his manhood on a daily basis. All those dropped passes, the carefully manicured facial hair, his name, "Braylon"... There's a lot of material.
Anyway, here's Braylon's reaction as Rex said, "We're gonna beat the fuck out of ya. How's that?"
3. Joe Namath Has Some Advice For You. And he's brought his daughter along, too! Yeah, she was available. She says it's definitely going to rain. So, there's her contribution, I guess.
But as for Broadway Joe... I know he's a Jets legend everything. But aside from wearing his shorts that stretched up to his ribcage, Namath spent practice critiquing Mark Sanchez, giving Jets' assistants advice on how they should coach the quarterbacks, and generally injecting himself into everyone else's conversations. Do we like Joe Namath? If I were on the Jets, no. But watching him slur out his condescending advice to Mark Sanchez will never, ever get old. Keep at it, Joe.
4. Speaking Of Sanchize... The Jets call him Nacho, just like the in the Rex Ryan parodies.
"It's not even a real Mexican food," he says in the first episode.
Shut up Nacho.
5. Poor Darrelle Revis. Talk about picking the worst offseason to holdout. There's no way this Jets team doesn't come out of training camp as the most likable team in the league, and there's no way Revis doesn't get made into a villain by the HBO Cameras. It's already happening. Like when Mike Tannenbaum met with Revis and his agent for 3 hours, and then told HBO, "I don't think I agree with a single thing they said."
6. When Did The Jets Become This Awesome? Oh, when Rex took over. That's right.
7. We Haven't Even Met Santonio Or Antonio! The first episode was probably a 9.7 on a scale of 10, but think about the people we've still got left! Specifically, Santonio Holmes and Antonio Cromartie. Will Cromartie bring 15 kids to family day? Will Santonio pass his drug tests? It's early, but if all the right pieces fall in place, this could be the best Hard Knocks ever.
"Last year, 'Hey, we were under the radar, that's a good place to be...' Fuck that! The best place to be is when expectations are HIGH. Get used to it." Indeed, with Coach Ryan on board, the expectations for Hard Knocks are sky-high. "We're going to give you our best game, and we're going to beat the fuck out of ya. How's that? Let's go get it."