UNC'S Press Conference Just A Lot Of Carolina Blue Noise

By Holly Anderson

UNC's Thursday night press conference, scheduled to address reports of widespread academic malfeasance within the North Carolina football program, gave us some confirmation of suspicions, but nothing at all in the way of pertinent new information. Even for coaches and university bureaucrats, there's a stunning amount of politico-speak being bandied about here, but the entire video's available for your perusal if you feel you must view Butch Davis's face-craters for your own satisfaction.

Highlights, such as they are:

• Confirmed: We're dealing with academic misconduct involving a tutor and multiple football players.
• Confirmed: That tutor was at one point employed by the Davis family, though as an "academic coach" for Davis's son, not a nanny as previously speculated.
• Obviously, they're short on time here, and the university will decide on a case-by-case basis whether to play involved athletes in the event this investigation stretches into the season.
• Athletic director Dick Baddour gives Butch Davis the dreaded VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. Yeah, everything's gonna be fine. 
• Davis, it must be said, does a very mansome resolute jaw-clench.
• Chancellor Holden Thorp: "We still don't know the extent of it." Unsurprisingly, nor will any of them begin to speculate. Nor will they indicate how many players are involved, but it's more than one individual at risk.
• Holden Thorp, by the way, has about as punchable a face as you'd expect from a guy named "Holden Thorp."
• Thorp on UNC's academic program for athletes: "We've got a process in place that other schools ask us about." Seriously, this is as spicy as it's going to get. 
• "I think we're a little bit surprised and possibly disappointed." Davis is leaving himself a lot of room for maneuver here, possibly just to irritate everyone watching.
• Finally, Thorp is asked to elaborate on his emotional state by a reporter named Eddie, and cordially does not brain him.

So other than having a handful of suspicions confirmed, we don't know a whole lot more than we did going in. CBS Sports, however, is being fed some scary potential scenarios:

A source has also told CBSSports.com that two players, cornerbacks Charles Brown and Kendrick Burney, have already been kicked off of the football team. Additionally, the same source told CBSSports.com that "four players have been cleared and the rest are toast" -- meaning four of the defensive starters on Carolina's team.
[..]
Erin Summers of WRAL in Raleigh also reported that "it's all but four players on the starting defense who are involved in the academic infractions." The information from our source falls right in line with the -- as yet unconfirmed -- reports that the majority of the defensive starters were removed from the first team reps during Carolina's closed practice.

For more UNC news, visit SB Nation's Carolina March.

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