The Next Great ESPN 8 Sport: Field Gun Competition

One thing to mourn about ESPN's 30 year cycle from cable upstart to cultural behemoth is the dearth of time-killing filler on its networks. Gone are the cheaply purchased overseas spectacles like the World's Strongest Man or the Outdoors Games. To find that you have to go to places like G4, where Ninja Warrior finds its home, not ESPN or ESPN 2, where surely the program would have landed for good fifteen years ago, and you would have watched it after rummaging in the fridge for cold pizza and beer. 

If and when they start ESPN 8, the first thing we'd draft? Field Gun Competition. 

That's the 1999 Royal Navy Field Gun competition. These are the rules if you care, but if you don't the spectacle is more than enough: men throwing 400 pound gun carriages over walls with ease, riding ziplines with one arm while holding 100 pound wheels in the other, and scrambling like mad rats through barriers while hauling a cannon around what appears to be an old BMX course.  It makes almost no sense whatsoever, and that is precisely why you should like it.