DJ Dennis Rodman, The Hamptons, Six Women, And A Live Microphone

I was in the Hamptons last weekend visiting a friend. It was fun. Great weather, too. Just an all-around good time. But words cannot describe how sad I am to have missed this (via the New York Post):

Hamptons partygoers got to listen to a little Dennis Rodman lovemaking after he took six girls up to his bedroom with a cordless microphone switched on in his pocket.

A source told us, "...the next thing you could hear through the speakers downstairs was Rodman describing in full sexual detail what he wanted to do to them. Organizers pulled the plug before it got any dirtier." The source added the party was still packed with guests, including "Entourage" star Kevin Dillon.

So many reactions to this...

  • First, let's grant that Dennis Rodman has slept with a lot of groupies in his day.
  • Let's also grant that the quality of groupie deteriorates in direct proportion to the amount of time an NBA star has been out of the NBA. Dennis Rodman retired in the year 2000.
  • Finally, we can add a corollary that for every woman past two (your standard issue groupie threesome), the quality of a groupie decreases by... At least a factor of 1.5. Which leads to the first reaction...

1. How disgusting were the six women that decided it would be a good idea to go up to Dennis Rodman's hotel room—as a group? By my calculations, they would be approximately 60 times more pathetic than any groupie that slept with Dennis Rodman during his playing days. And even then, the groupie that sought out Dennis Rodman was playing VD Russian Roulette. So these ladies really had no standards. Like the Vegas Summer League groupies, perhaps.


2. Dennis Rodman was the celebrity DJ for the event in question, leading to the question... How can SBNation contact Dennis Rodman to DJ the office Christmas party?


3. What does Kat Stacks think of all this? Can someone contact her management team?


4. As Spencer Hall noted, a live rendering of a Dennis Rodman sex party should really be a skit on a Ghostface album.


5. Instead of "Entourage" star Kevin Dillon it should read Entourage "star" Kevin Dillon. Clearly.


6. The headline of this article would be a great title for a memoir.


No matter who wrote it, I'd read it.

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