35. "Nolan Ryan, do you enjoy baseball?"
The passage of time has somehow rendered Nolan Ryan even older than he used to be, but we still know that he could beat us up. He's baseball's Michael Jordan: an old-ass cranky bald dude who is disappointed in his employees and wishes it were socially permissible to just do it himself.
34. Nate Robinson is the latest to perish atop Mount Pierce
Paul Pierce was drafted because he is impossible to climb, making it impossible for opponents to score because they cannot reach the basket.
33. Matt Lindland goes to Matt Lind-land
"Phew. All right, ref, got one for you. Took a little while to get him down. L'see here... ah, the legs are all messed up, here, I'll straighten 'em out. Well, I'm gonna go buy some groceries."
32. Oh, hey, let's see what Mickael Pietrus is up toGAAAHH
(Via NBA Offseason)
Someone -- I forgot who it was -- shared this in Google Reader, only it was blown up so large that it took up the entire screen. I just about fell out of my chair in equal parts fright and delight. I don't know exactly what Mickael Pietrus is doing here, but I'm certain that he's the first person in the world to do it, and I believe it's somewhat likely that it caused iPods and lollipops to fall out of his butt.
31. What is Lions coach Jim Schwartz saying?
Want a free cabin?
No, thank you, I have a timeshare in Florida.
Thank you for the compliment. Shouldn't you be coaching?
Where are the funds, Captain?
I spent them all to buy a giant boat. I'm sorry.
Yeah, and I know that, but his Presidency was over a hundred years ago. Can you name a single thing he accomplished? I can't!
Who's a fun chaplain?
Go see Brother Wenzel at the priory. He can juggle!
What's a fun habit?