Boston vs. Chicago: A Field Guide For Theo Epstein

I've made a huge mistake.

Provided by Cubs fans as a service to Theo Epstein, so he can focus on the important stuff.

As someone who lived in Boston for several years and now lives on the Cubs/Cards Mason-Dixon line in downstate Illinois, I feel I'm in a unique position to help Theo Epstein transition to his new job as GM of the Chicago Cubs. With that in mind, I made this handy chart of people, places, and things Mr. Epstein encountered every day in Boston and their equivalents in Chicago—or, as the natives call it, Rum City.*

* I heard that once.

 

Boston

 

Chicago

Fenway Park

Wrigley Field

Yawkey Way

Clark & Addison

Curse of the Bambino

Curse of the... wait, what? Because
they wouldn't let his what in?

Inferiority complex
with New York

Inferiority complex
with New York

Yankees

Cardinals

The Atlantic Ocean

Lake Michigan

Don Orsillo

Len Kasper

Dan Shaughnessy

Bozo the Clown

Our Founding Fathers

The '85 Bears

Paul Revere

Jim Belushi

Clam chowder

Deep-dish clam chowder

Quarter Pounder with Cheese

Royale with Cheese

Boston Breakers

Chicago White Sox

Deer Island Prison

U.S. Cellular Field

Grunge

Zydeco

Whitey Bulger

Rod Blagojevich

Corn

"Maize"

M.I.T.

DuPage County
Janitorial Academy

Cheers

Perfect Strangers

J.F.K.

Mike Ditka

Cardinal O'Malley

Oprah

Constant threat
of pirate attack

Marauding bands of
super-intelligent apes

 

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