So you've decided to dress up like a ballplayer for Halloween. Smart choice! It's a great way to get extra candy from baseball diehards when you go trick-or-treating or spark a fun conversation at a Halloween party about the use of shut-down relievers in high-leverage game situations.
There are so many of these costumes to choose from, though. Which one is right for you? It all comes down to this: Which type of ballplayer do you want to portray? An ace pitcher? A home-run hero? A slick-fielding ballhawk? This primer will help choose the perfect costume, and then eBay is just a click away...
You came to set the table - and not at your mama's house for Thanksgiving. You're the scrappy leadoff batter who will do whatever it takes to get an inning started right, including taking one for the team.
They haven't built a park big enough to contain your gargantuan shots. When they see you step to the plate, they'll probably just walk you and take their chances on someone else - even with the bases loaded.
You're as sure-handed as they come; you don't need one of those over-sized modern mitts. Like Joe Morgan before you, you'll snare anything that comes near second base wearing a glove not much bigger than your hand - you're just that good.
Why is it that so many opponents opt out of the lineup on the day you pitch? Because they can hear what you throw but they can't see it and they're afraid one of your three-digit speedballs is going to end up in their earhole.
The Super Sub
Working a walk, taking an extra base, playing seven positions - heck, you'll even warm up a pitcher in the bullpen if that's what the skipper needs. You're the utility player's utility player who knows that while there might not be an "i" in team, there are two of them in indispensable.
The Wiley Veteran
Nothing says baseball class like pinstripes and you've got it to spare. You bring dignity to the game with your dedication, hard work and sportsmanship. You're the veteran presence every clubhouse so desperately needs.
The Go Getter
It says it right on the jersey: you come to the ballpark to play! Sure, you've got a ridiculously high non-roster uniform number, but that's only temporary. When Skip sees your skills, you'll be heading north with the big club for sure.
If there's one thing no team can live without it's a LOOGY. Sure, you're unpredictable: a prankster, more likely to miss the team bus than not ... but you get a pass because, after all, you're left-handed.
The Leather Merchant
It's called the hot corner for a reason: because it takes someone who can handle the heat to play there - and that's you in spades. You don't turn your head when a screamer comes your way. No, you tilt your hip into it, knock it down and throw a laser to first.
The Professional Hitter
Designated hitter? More like designated destroyer! You don't hit baseballs, you punish them with that Heinie Groh-style bottle bat of yours. When you're on deck, the batter at the plate is already in scoring position.