It's coming. Friday night, at 9pm local time, the Florida Marlins will become the Miami Marlins during a whole big re-branding ceremony. The Marlins are going all out, too, getting Pitbull and Jeff Conine and everything. There's probably going to be a lot of Dr. Pepper. Or there is probably going to be no Dr. Pepper at all, depending on how sick Pitbull has gotten of Dr. Pepper.
The most anticipated part of the ceremony is the reveal of the Marlins' new logo and uniforms. On the one hand, it's suspicious that the Marlins have planned all this for so late on a holiday, as if they want to attract as few eyes as possible. On the other hand, good luck trying to arrange a Pitbull matinee. Pitbull doesn't wake up until 4:45, according to my understanding of Pitbull's day-to-day life, as conveyed by his lyrics.
The Marlins are being very secretive about everything, as one should expect them to be. However, while the official logo and uniform unveiling is still hours away, we've gotten some leaks. Of course we've gotten some leaks. This is 2011, and this is the internet. What do we have? First, the home whites:
The image quality is terrible because that is a picture of, I don't know, a poster or a ticket package or something. But here's what we can see:
- Basically the logo we expected
- A completely fine uniform
Seriously, that looks okay to me. A little collegiate, sure, and I'll re-evaluate my opinion when we're given a better look later on, but right now I've got no significant complaints. Not that I could ever have significant complaints about a baseball uniform. That would have to be a literally offensive baseball uniform.
Grant Brisbee and I agree that the worst element here is stage right dude's beard. That is a very bad beard, that is making a feeble attempt at claiming the lips. You're not going to get there, beard.
So. I have to say, the first thing that stands out to me here is the stitching on the orange jersey. The orange jersey looks like a cheap replica of an authentic, with the sloppy white bordering around the letters. Maybe that'll be cleaned up. Maybe it won't.
The black jersey is partially covered up, but we can extrapolate, and it'll probably look okay. The orange jersey is more daring, and...and yet, perplexingly uninteresting. Maybe I'm seeing it in the wrong light. I don't like the way that it combines with that hat, but maybe I'll get used to it, or maybe it will actually combine with a different hat. We'll know for sure this evening.
Based on what we have here, I don't think the Marlins have done anything outlandishly awful. Some people will think they have, and that's fine. People disagree on these things because it's all a matter of taste, and people have very different tastes. It's possible these are actually awful, and I'd just prepared myself for something worse. It's also worth noting that we haven't gotten a glimpse of the backs. The letters and numbers on the backs might be really bad. Like, bright yellow, or written in cursive for some reason.
No matter what we see in tonight's unveiling ceremony, though, there's pretty much no way the Marlins will come away with the worst uniforms they've ever worn. Take it away, June 9, 1999.
God damn y'all.
What I'm really hoping for is that the first Marlin to model a uniform is Jose Reyes. Surprise!