Theo Epstein Responds To Billy Corgan

You might be wondering why Billy Corgan is speaking about what he thinks Theo Epstein should do, but it turns out he's got his reasons.

Billy Corgan is best known as the lead singer and guitarist of the Smashing Pumpkins, but he leads a double life, as he is also a Cubs fan and Chicago-area native. This is why he had an opinion about whether or not Theo Epstein should have interviewed Cubs' legend Ryne Sandberg for the open managerial position in Chicago (Corgan's opinion: Epstein should have interviewed Ryno). Now, you might think Corgan is just coming at this out of nowhere, but we here at Baseball Nation have secretly obtained correspondence between these two giants of Chicago, and it turns out they have been communicating quite a bit. Epstein is a well-known 90s music fan, after all, and Corgan's Pumpkins were a big thing in the days of 90s alt-rock.

*****

Hi, Billy,

Sure, in theory, having the Pumpkins write the soundtrack to the Cubs' 2012 season sounds like an... idea... on the surface, but I don't think I'm understanding the concept here. You want to turn my coming to town and bringing the Cubs back to the glory days into a rock opera? And you want that rock opera to play in 81 separate segments during the seventh inning stretch of the 2011 season?

I appreciate your enthusiasm and your faith in me, but we haven't even signed a free agent yet, so a rock opera is a bit presumptuous at this stage. Stephen King and Stewart O'Nan wrote a book in 2004 chronicling the Red Sox season, but that was expected to have your typical Red Sox ending; they never assumed it would end the way it did. 

Maybe even more importantly, I would need guarantees that this isn't going to be another Zwan fiasco, or just another one of your half-completed and unreleased projects. That might sound harsh, but c'mon guy, "Mary Star of the Sea" was just... were you in a bad place, or what? I'm still not sure who you thought that would appeal to, given the audience for the Pumpkins. Artistic freedom and all that, but let's just admit that was your John Lackey.

Before you accuse me of being heartless, I had our new stat system, Cyaneus, (had to be new since I couldn't take Carmine with me from Boston, sigh) run the numbers, and Zwan was below replacement level. I mean, it wasn't as bad as "Zeitgeist", but neither were the 2011 Cubs, if you know what I'm saying. I'll have to listen in on these sessions so I know that this is going to be much more "Siamese Dream" than second disk of "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness," is all. Well, unless the sad parts sound like "1979," then we're cool. Still dig that song.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I mean, I know a thing or two about good 90s rock, so I'm just trying to help. I really do love "Gish," and "Siamese Dream" is part of my workout playlist on my iPod. You get the slow build of "Cherub Rock," followed by the heavier (and deceptively-named) "Quiet." The ups-and-downs are just great, love the pacing -- something like that would be fantastic. "Geek U.S.A." sounds like it should be the anthem for my front office! LOL!

I'll talk things over with Jed -- he was always more into the Pixies and "Pod" than the Pumpkins, but what can you do -- and see what he thinks about this. I can't make any promises, though, as this just seems like a project better left for after we win. I would say "if,", but c'mon, I did win two titles in Boston. This is happening, obviously.

As for your other request, we interviewed Ryno for the manager's job in Pawtucket last year, and... well, you understand how context is important, yeah? Ryno hasn't left the 1980s, I'm afraid, and that kind of mentality just won't do in today's fast-moving game. Plus, I know I'm new here, but given the way the last 103 years have gone, we should be developing a brand new Cubs' way, not bringing the past to the present. The last thing we need is anyone tainted with the stench of the last century, LOL.

Sincerely yours,

Theo

*****

Yo, Eddie,

So, I had this great idea for you, if you're not writing anything at the moment with PJ. How does a rock opera based on the upcoming Cubs' success sound to you?

-T

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