We've all had conversations with people who absolutely know sports are fixed -- knowledge they seem to acquire right after their teams lose an important game -- so Brian Tuohy's arguments about that are nothing new. Nor are notions like the NFL "awarding" Super Bowl appearances to teams with new stadiums, though some of Tuohy's ideas are a little more eccentric than that.
Michael Jordan was actually suspended for mounting gambling issues as opposed to retiring in 1993.
Yeah, like that one.
In any case, we at SB Nation have our own ideas about sports conspiracies that few fans know about. We fully expect these to show up in Tuohy's new book -- unless the Mafia gets to him before then, of course.
- The Cubs' 102-year World Series drought is because of a plot by Bud Selig and several commissioners before him, not because they do things like sign Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year contract.
- Chris Berman's contract calls for him to get a free month's supply of NutriSystem from the NFL every time he says "the frozen tundra" or mentions Brett Favre -- the reason for ESPN's unending stories about No. 4.
- Ron Zook throws college football games just to make things fair, given the amount of talent he recruits to his program every year.
- The recent Celtics-Thunder trade is part of the NBA's plan to create a thrilling new rivalry between Boston and Oklahoma City, because who can resist the ratings draw of a Thunder game?
- The NHL lockout in 2004-05 was really an elaborate ruse to get people to talk about hockey.
You're rolling your eyes now. But when the Thunder win the NBA Finals this year, don't say we didn't warn you ...