In Alabama A College Kicker's Autograph Is Forty-Five Dollars

A college kicker in almost every other state would have to pay you to ask for an autograph, but in Soviet Alabama YOU PAY KICKER FOR SIGN:

Wes Byrum will be signing Autographs Friday night March 11th along with Nick Fairley. Wes Byrum autograph tickets include a National Champs inscription free of charge. Tickets for an autograph are $45 each and any item can be autographed.

Auburn defensive tackle Nick Fairley—the 290 pound beast who just ran a 4.81 second 40 yard dash at the combine—will also be signing, so chances are high that Tigers kicker Wes Byrum isn’t the only thing you’ll be paying for with your $45. Still, the points stand about Alabamians spending more money per capita on football than any other fans on the planet, and about their general mass derangement when it comes to America’s great sporting love. In conclusion please note that “any item can be autographed,” and that includes that beautiful three month old baby, ma’am. (Wes Byrum then signs your baby.)

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