Last weekend, Udinese had everyone's jaws hanging open as the danger duo of Alexis Sánchez and Antonio Di Natale put seven goals past a stunned Palermo. In a fairly boring week for the rest of Italy, the remainder of Serie A scored a combined 22 goals. This week, it's time to put aside team loyalties, cast off the colors and root for one thing: goals galore.
Lecce - Roma
The week kicks off early, with a Friday match giving Roma plenty of time to rest/travel/panic before playing Shakhtar Donetsk on Tuesday. Roma could put quite a few past a leaky Lecce defense, with the smart money on Marco Borriello to net at least one of the goals. However, Roma are infamous for allowing just as many goals as they net, with the team apparently convinced that the match ends at the 60th minute. With Lecce looking much more dangerous in the attack in recent weeks (meaning they've scored in their last seven matches) it's probably time for Roma to stop being so generous in allowing other clubs to get back in the match.
Goal prediction: Six, evenly divided.
Juventus - Milan
Juventus are tied with Palermo for the most goals conceded at home. Milan are just behind Udinese for the most goals scored away. Clearly the 7-0 win made statistics slightly irrelevant. No matter, though. Milan can score, Juventus can...not. The Old Lady have scored nine goals in 2011. I'm pretty sure Zlatan Ibrahimović has scored nine himself since January. Even Pato's probably scored nine in the past two months. Then again, Juventus's kits look like the zebrette. Maybe that will count for something.
Goal prediction: Four, with three from the visitors.
Sampdoria - Cesena
Do Sampdoria even know how to score anymore? A quick check of recent fixtures suggests they do not. Giampaolo Pazzini and Antonio Cassano do, but unfortunately for Samp they're now playing on opposite sides of Milan. Cesena needed a penalty kick to find the net last week.
Goal prediction: zero
Chievo Verona v Parma
Chievo are good for nothing except screwing with the scudetto race. With Parma in a relegation battle, they need not fear being scored upon. Amauri has remembered how to score (much to the shock of Juventus fans) and will be anxious to get one in against his former club.
Goal prediction: two, both by Amauri
Bologna v Cagliari
Marco Di Vaio will be this week's Toto and add to his impressive goal tally for Bologna. Cagliari will be powerless to stop him. The home side won't need to field anyone else, just Di Vaio.
Goal prediction: five, but Cagliari manage to score one.
Fiorentina v Catania
Do Fiorentina even know how to score anymore? Oh wait, that's Sampdoria. The Viola managed to score against Bari last week. And then come away with only a point. This is a team packed with firepower, for sure. Catania have only scored seven away goals. I'll go out on a limb and say this won't be an eight goal match.
Goal prediction: one, although which side it comes form is anyone's guess.
Napoli v Brescia
Edinson Cavani is mad. No one would give him the ball in last week's horrible defeat at Milan, so he had no way to score enough goals to re-assert his dominance over Di Natale and regain the lead in the Serie A top scorers/ultimate determination of manhood competition. The entire point of Napoli is to give Cavani the ball, and if his team don't start doing what they are supposed to do, Edinson's going to start throwing elbows, and it won't be at the opposition.
Goal prediction: eighteen. Although really one, and it will come from Brescia, because this writer is not allowed to take joy in her teams.
Inter Milan v Genoa
Inter will win. There's no point trying to deny it anymore. Genoa will try, Inter will win, the sun will continue to rise in the east. Wesley Sneijder will score a least one free kick but alas will likely not score eight. However, Samuel Eto'o will miss eight times before he manages to get one in the net. So that could be slightly exciting.
Goal prediction: three. Sorry, Genoa.
Udinese v Bari
There's no way that Udinese can top their performance of last week, right? Except they're at home to Bari, a club certain to be relegated. The zebrette might be tied for top in most goals scored, but they'd rather do it on the road, for maximum dramatic effect. On one hand, Udinese's performance of last week seems untoppable. On the other, Toto and Sánchez are unstoppable. I'm guessing Bari haven't slept all week.
Goal prediction: an infinite loop of Di Natale -Sánchez
Lazio v Palermo
The week ends with the most boring club in the European places taking on a club that's still licking their seven wounds. So this one should be a thriller. You'd think an attack featuring Mauricio Pinilla, Javier Pastore, and Josip Iličić could score. Unfortunately for Palermo, Fernando Muslera is back in goal for Lazio, putting this match back into the dull zone. Unless Nando bobbles the ball into his own net again, which is usually good for a laugh.
Goal prediction: one, from Pastore, because Palermo can't really be that bad.