Mocka Flocka Flame!

Yes, the title is misleading, and no, I do not like the music of the guy I just made a pun on.

Anywho, this is just another mock draft - half serious, half stupidity. Feedback is welcomed. Enjoy.

1) Carolina Panthers - Cam Newton, QB - Auburn

Wouldn't go this route if I were Marty Hurney, but the Panthers need leadership and a new face of the franchise, and Newton will bring both.

2) Denver Broncos - Marcell Dareus, DT - Alabama

He'll anchor Denver's atrocious D-line and help re-invigorate a defense that missed Elvis Dumervil badly last year.

3) Buffalo Bills - Von Miller, OLB - Texas A&M

Buffalo's linebacking corps was so bad that they signed a half-ready Shawne Merriman to try to help out. Miller will bring dignity to that group.

4) Cincinnati Bengals - A.J. Green, WR - Georgia

So yes, they need a quarterback, but why get a top QB who won't have anyone to throw to? Green will be a weapon to whoever Cincy grabs later on.

5) Arizona Cardinals - Patrick Peterson, CB - LSU

Arizona selects the BPA and strengthens their secondary. Peterson and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie will be a great duo.

6) Cleveland Browns - Julio Jones, WR - Alabama

The Browns get a bit desperate here and reach for Julio to make Colt McCoy's life more Cu-lio (rimshot!)

7) San Francisco 49ers - Blaine Gabbert, QB - Missouri

Jim Harbaugh gets his man. 49ers fans rejoice. Alex Smith mopes.

8) Tennessee Titans - Nick Fairley, DT - Auburn

The Titans have missed Fat Albert over the past few seasons. Fairley will make those thoughts disappear.

9) Dallas Cowboys - Prince Amukumara, CB - Nebraska

Sorry, Jerry, but yes, you do need secondary help.

10) Washington Redskins - Robert Quinn, DE - North Carolina

Well, they need defense. And a pass rush. Defense + pass rush = Robert Quinn. Class dismissed.

11) Houston Texans - Aldon Smith, DE - Missouri

No secondary prospects worth snagging here. Might as well pass rush the crap out of opponents!

12) Minnesota Vikings - Da'Quan Bowers, DE - Clemson

Knee problems + Ray Edwards leaving = Minnesooooooooooooota!

13) Detroit Lions - Tyron Smith, OT - USC

Lions fans, face it - you can take a defensive prospect here, but if you can't protect your tens of millions of dollars QB, then you're pretty screwed.

14) St. Louis Rams - Mark Ingram, RB - Alabama

Stevie Wonder Jackson may be 28, but he's a bit overworked, no?

15) Miami Dolphins - Jake Locker, QB - Washington

Chad Henne. Class dismissed.

16) Jacksonville Jaguars - Cameron Jordan, DE - Cal

Well, they need a pass rush...and sacks...

17) New England Patriots - Gabe Carimi, OT - Wisconsin

Because you can never have too many white guys with good facial hair potential on the Patriots' offensive line.

18) San Diego Chargers - J.J. Watt, DE - Wisconsin

Chargers get Watt. Anyone get the reference?

19) New York Giants - Anthony Castonzo, OT - Boston College

Another guy to protect Manning III.

20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Ryan Kerrigan, DE - Purdue

He'll look nice with Gerald McCoy. If only his name was Hatfield...

21) Kansas City Chiefs - Phil Taylor, DT - Baylor

He's big and stuff. Approved!

22) Indianapolis Colts - Derek Sherrod, OT - Miss St.

Manning II had to run a lot last year. 

23) Philadelphia Eagles - Jimmy Smith, CB - Colorado

He should look nice alongside Asante Samuel.

24) New Orleans Saints - Justin Houston, DE - Georgia

I thought about mocking a Spanish-dish named player here to replace Scott Fajita...Fujita, but to no avail.

25) Seattle Seahawks - Ryan Mallett, QB - Arkansas

Clipboard Jesus shall remain Clipboard-y.

26) Baltimore Ravens - Nate Solder, OT - Colorado

One huge guy possibly steps in for another huge guy (Jared Gaither).

27) Atlanta Falcons - Mike Pouncey, C - Florida

Interior lineman is a need, and Matty Ice needs to keep his face intact. You know, for the Gillette commercials.

28) New England Patriots - Cameron Heyward, DE - Ohio State

Bill Belichick meets Son of Ironman. Sounds like a Hollywood blockbuster to me.

29) Chicago Bears - Corey Liuget, DT - Illinois

No offensive linesman worth snagging here, so Da Bears get a Tommie Harris replacement.

30) New York Jets - Muhammad Wilkerson, DE - Temple

Moar defense!

31) Pittsburgh Steelers - Brandon Harris, CB - Miami (FL)

A good defense gets better. And I cry.

32) Green Bay Packers - Akeem Ayers, OLB - UCLA

Who doesn't like a guy that has the name Akeem?

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