The 137th running of the Kentucky Derby will take place this Saturday, and you probably don't know anything about any of the horses. We are here to help. Our second preview focuses on Mucho Macho Man, the only horse in the field who has come back from the dead.
Name: Mucho Macho Man. After his sire, Macho Uno. On his farm he was referred to as "Lazarus," however.
“A few minutes later he called back and said, ‘I think this foal is dead, he just doesn’t look alive.’
“When we arrived, Jeff and his wife were there and they’re standing over the foal and praying. I was doing my own praying on the way there. When I arrived I looked at him and he was lifeless, and I couldn’t see any breathing. I started rubbing him and finally I just stopped and we all prayed together. Just then this sucker jumped up and started running. He didn’t just stand up he jumped up and then ran off from the mare. It was bizarre."
And now you have met the unstoppable zombie horse of the competition. IT HAS THE SIGHT, I TELL YOU.
Description: May not actually be a zombie, since zombies are slow and unstoppable and Mucho Macho Man has shown a tendency to make his move mid-race and fade toward the end as he did in the Louisiana Derby. (He did run that race missing one shoe, and still salvaged a third place finish.) Is a very intelligent horse whose late development can be read one of two ways: he is either poised to mature at just the right moment to make a serious run in the Derby, or is just shy of his potential and not ready for the distance of the race. Is probably psychic or can talk to ghosts like all others who have been into the great beyond and come back, but cannot tell you about it because he is a horse, and cannot talk. Inconsistent, but you would be, too, if you could get distracted by the mystical power to read people's minds.
Likes: The ability to predict the future he brought back with him from the afterlife, a talent that helps him avoid things like falling tree branches, sudden swerves by other horses on the track, and vaccinations he doesn't feel like getting.
Dislikes: Horse ghosts. Man, they never shut up. Randy Savage jokes. People singing "Macho Man" by the Village People, since duh, he's not even a man, man. Macho Horse, please, if you must sing.
Current odds: 1/12
Celebrity Horse Lookalike: Like a sensitive Count Chocula.
For more serious analysis of the 2011 Kentucky Derby, head to SB Nation's And Down The Stretch They Come.