DIAGRAM: The Last Five Known Fans To Run On Field At Fenway Park

Running around on a field of play is an essential medium of expression for the sports fan, with the sentiment expressed usually being some variant of, "I am running around on a field." In Fenway Park, this most recently occurred on Monday evening:

While that's a hell of a takedown, the individual in question sure didn't take a very creative approach. Even in a scene as improvisational and spontaneous as the run-on-field scene, there has to be some sort of plan, some type of motive. This guy just ran straight as an arrow, making to effort to elude security.

Some others have been more interesting. Here's a diagram of the running routes of the last five folks to run around on the Fenway Park grass (to the best of my YouTube searching ability, anyway):

Runonfenway_medium

  1. Monday night's run. As I said, the guy ran a pretty bland route, but there's a certain beauty in his resolve. Nearly every other person who runs on a field makes an effort to evade those in pursuit. This is... you know what this is? It's avant-garde.
  2. October 2, 2010 (video here). Similar to run No. 1, but this guy completely peters out once he reaches shortstop. He just sort of stops and waits for his fate to be sealed. Did he lose heart or breath? He lost artistic credibility, that's for sure.
  3. June 3, 2008 (video here). The legend. I found this run on YouTube from four different cameras. He wins our hearts by shaking multiple security guards. In a daring attempt, he darts towards the stands in foul territory and actually jumps over the wall before stadium personnel are able to take him down. He is the only one to make it from one end of the field to the other, but what if he could have remained upright? Once in the labyrinthine corridors of Fenway, he could easily have ditched his wig, blended in with the crowd, and maybe even tried to take his old seat back. In doing so, he would have achieved immortality.
  4. August 2007 (video here). Yes, this fellow stops in left field, but it appears to be a designed stop. He raised the roof, and got approximately 1.5 stationary roof-raises in before hitting the ground. He took a really hard hit despite being completely flat-footed, making him a martyr to the artistic subculture he selflessly served.
  5. May 2008 (video here). This guy nearly made it to the other side before absorbing the toughest hit of any of these guys. This was just a tasteful effort from start to finish, complete with a cap-doffing.

The amount of exploration yet to be made in this medium is, to say the least, exciting. Brave performance artists, you will spend the night in jail. You will hate it. But you will know that half the home runs hit in the major leagues will not earn the cheers that you have earned. Happy running.

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