Nearly two weeks ago, a home run was hit into the Wrigley Field bleachers. Naturally, a Cubs fan elected to throw it back, and disaster struck.
Though some have issued verdicts, I don't believe we've examined the matter thoroughly enough to assign responsibility for this incident. Who is responsible for the beer spillage? After the jump, please make your voice heard.
ARGUMENT NO. 1: The gentleman throwing the ball is responsible. It was, after all, his direct action that spilled the beer.
ARGUMENT NO. 2: The gentleman holding the beer is responsible. It is one's own responsibility to attend to one's own libations. It should be understood by everyone in the Wrigley Field bleachers that one's personal space expands to the space required to throw a baseball on the field. The beer holder inattentively violated this boundary and has nothing to blame but himself for only being able to enjoy one cup of watered-down sallow half-beer instead of two.
ARGUMENT NO. 3: Act of God. People throw baseballs. People drink beer. Sometimes this happens simultaneously and in the same space. The risk of suffering such an incident is a cross we must all bear.
ARGUMENT NO. 4: The behavior of the group at large. At this point in human history, collective action has such dominion over our everyday action that there is no longer such thing as a personal act. The entire group is responsible, and the gentleman should be purchased a new beer by the local governing authority.
ARGUMENT NO. 5: The gentleman engaging the beer-holder in conversation. He could not decide whether to zip up his coat all the way or leave it unzipped entirely, so he solicited the advice of a stranger to the detriment of the common good. Leave him out of this matter, as it is a matter between you and God.