Jimmer Fredette did, over the past two seasons, what all young men with an inclination toward sport dream of doing at some point in their lives: he had the entire country saying his name. Fredette captured America's minds if not hearts as a Marburian gunner at Brigham Young, a scorer without compare and conscience. Of course, the college game has been relatively stripped of its power; Kevin Durant would have been a senior averaging 74 points per game, after all, if he'd stayed in school. Jimmer had closer to 30 a night, with some truly, uh, Durantian breakouts.
But plenty of mid-major kids score in bunches; you haven't ever heard of Marshon Fever, have you? What made Fredette stand out as an especially bright bauble amid the collection? His every-man stature? His boyish charm in interviews? His skin tone? His religion? No, no, no, no. It's all in the name. Jimmer. Jimmer Fredette. Jimmermania. The Jimmer, if you please.
As an exercise in assessing the impact of this nickname on Fredette's 2011 NBA Draft status, as well as kicking off our NBA Draft 2011 Questions of Consequence series -- we'll feature a question a day, leading up to the June 23 draft -- we shall ask ourselves this: what if Jimmer had a different nickname? Let's find out.
If Jimmer were called Jim, he would have a mustache. Draft Status Impact: Heavy.
Oh my [deity], if Jimmer were called Jimmy, those Jimmy Chitwood comparisons would totally make sense! Because they are both called Jimmy and they like to get buckets! As it stands, the comparison serves to extend the well-established dictate of Racial Profiling In NBA Draft Comparison Creation to fictional players, a real achievement. Draft Status Impact: Outrageous!
If Jimmer were called Jamie, Bill Simmons would add him to his "Athletes Who Have Names That Sound Like Hot Girlz" list. The Big Lead would include Jamie's picture on top of a post about Fran Fraschilla's Skoal endorsement, with the introduction: Jamie Fredette, looking leggy ... Draft Status Impact: Negative, girlz can't play basketball.
If Jimmer went by his given name of James, everyone would totally take him more seriously not just as a basketball player, but as a statesman. Like when we all took "Michael Conley" seriously those three days he insisted his name was Michael. That was both fun and hilarious. Draft Status Impact: Neutral.
If Jimmer went by Jameser, he would piss off dozens of Williamsburg denizens who plan to name their future sons Jameser. Draft Status Impact: Cut your hair.
If Jimmer went by J. Fredette, his rap career would be off to an encouraging start. Draft Status Impact: Warming up.
If Jimmer went by Jay, he would be accused of obfuscation and retroactively kicked out of BYU on Honor Code violations. No one goes by "Jay" by choice. Draft Status Impact: Excommunicated.
If Jimmer went by Jammer, he would have starred in Top Gun, which came out 25 years ago, three years before Fredette was born. Therefore, he may not go by Jammer. It would potentially rip a tear in space and time. Draft Status Impact: OK.
If Jimmer went by Jamz, he would be on the next season of that Flava Flav show on VH1 wait Flava Flav is still alive right? Draft Status Impact: Alright.