Imperative Baseball Debate: How Can Steve Cishek Get More Twitter Followers?

Steve Cishek is a 25-year-old right-handed pitcher for the Florida Marlins. After making his major league debut in 2010, he is emerging this season as a dependable presence out of the bullpen (10 appearances, 13.1 IP, 2.03 ERA, 1.050 WHIP). Despite falling to a career 0-1 win-loss mark Monday night, he seems to have a bright feature ahead of him.

Now that his baseball career is beginning to take off, Cishek ought to tend to the regional, and perhaps even national, level of celebrity that awaits any Major League Baseball player with staying power. In particular, he needs to pay attention to his Twitter account, which, as of this writing, has only 647 followers. Of all the players confirmed by the league to have official Twitter accounts, none have fewer followers than Cishek.

This is understandable, of course. Relatively speaking, the Marlins have a small fan base, and Cishek has only 13 career major league appearances. It's our job, friends, to help him.

What could Steve Chisek tweet in order to win more followers?

Simply being good at baseball isn't necessarily enough to gain a large Twitter following; for example, Freddie Freeman has more followers than Felix Hernandez. You have to engage your audience with Web 2.0 media buzzword leverage buzzword buzzword discussion-starter buzzword.

As far as I can tell, Cishek doesn't employ a PR firm. Let's offer our services pro bono, and suggest things he could tweet that would create a stir, earn him attention, and win him Twitter followers.

Here are some of my suggestions:

  • On plane to NY for series w/Mets. 1 of the wings is a normal wing but the other is a giant statue of a guy's arm! We're all going to die!
  • I'm tweeting from the mound. It's the 13th inning at Sun Life Stadium though. I could kill a guy and nobody would see it.
  • Update: just killed a guy, you will never find the body because you never watch Marlins games
  • There have only been four baseball players in baseball history. If you can offer evidence to the contrary, I will give you a dollar.
  • Jack McKeon just asked me why I wear a baseball glove on the mound instead of a typewriter. He is old!
  • @pgammo hey peter gammons, breaking news, i am an evil robot who is stalking you, beep beep boop
  • @OzzieGuillen i wouldn't play for the white sox even if dan pasqua was growing out of my butt
  • @Buster_Olney herd this: http://bit.ly/kmWLFl
  • Everyone who has ever played for the Marlins is on steroids except for Craig Counsell, who just drank a lot of skim milk.
  • My name is Steve Cishek, and I am God's dad.

These are simply conversation-starters, however. Surely you can think of some tweets that are funnier and/or more incendiary (without, of course, being especially offensive). If you'd like to suggest something Mr. Cishek should tweet in order to achieve worldwide fame, post it in the comments below, or tweet me at @jon_bois.

In a few hours, I'll come back around and post some of the best answers. Best of luck, friends. The PR future of Steve Cishek is in our hands.

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