Marketing Guy: Unfortunately, our team is underperforming --
Me: "Underperforming"? Your team is "underperforming" like a meal of rotten meat eaten with a broken-tined fork while watching a documentary about France in World War II! But go on.
Marketing Guy: So we feel our slogan has to sell the overall ballpark experience.
Me: I couldn't agree more.
Me (cont'd): So how about, "You can't pay this much for parking unless you're at the airport!"
Marketing Guy: Um...
Me: Or, ""Enjoy our retractable roof! It hides our team's badness from God!"
Marketing Guy: We don't have a retractable roof.
Me: Then how about, "Buy us a retractable roof and we'll finally win!"