In a detailed report compiled by the Yahoo! Sports investigative team, former Miami Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro spills the beans to a level we haven't seen since the days of SMU and the Pony Express. The details are salacious, and include morally reprehensible allegations involving prostitutes, strip clubs and even an abortion. It's difficult to even know where to begin when looking at the report, other than to say just read it all multiple times.
The following are not the dazzling details that will get Miami hammered by the NCAA. Instead, these are some of the odd tidbits thrown into the story, making it sound more like a Hollywood movie. And at some point, the scandal probably will get the documentary treatment.
- Kellen Winslow crashed a jet ski into a boat. Of course he did.
- Devin Hester earned $500 per kick return touchdown, and also earned $500 per excessive celebration penalty. This is the most Miami detail in the scandal.
- Shapiro looked into the feasibility of adding a stripper pole to his suite at Land Shark Stadium, but decided it was too tacky. Don't think this is a violation of anything, but it's kind of awesome.
Teddy Dupay will be making an appearance in fantasy football leagues everywhere soon. It's the new Ron Mexico.
- Shapiro challenged the head of compliance to a fight in the middle of the press box. If this isn't a red flag indicating something might be wrong, I don't know what it.
- Shapiro donated enough money to have his name put on the student athlete lounge. Ironic? You bet.
- All of the legitimate donations, as well as the alleged improper benefits, were paid for with dirty money earned in a Ponzi scheme. For some reason, Ponzi schemes are in right now in college athletics.
- The irony runs deeper when looking at Paul Dee, the athletic director in charge at the time of the alleged scandal. As the head of the NCAA Committee on Infractions, Dee was busy hammering USC while the booze, money and women were flowing freely in Miami.
There's much, much more, available at Yahoo!. Pay special attention to the player pages on the right sidebar of the report.