The officials who award Super Bowl locations must really know their food. After all, Super Bowls have typically been hosted by cities with thriving culinary scenes, such as New Orleans and Miami. So it was only a matter of time before Indianapolis, Indiana, hosted its very own Super Bowl.
Indianapolis -- or "The City By The Land," as it's affectionately known -- is a town that knows its food. Those of you who are lucky enough to make it in town for the Super Bowl will be treated to a world-class dining scene that features:
- Seventeen Applebee's locations
- Eight Chili's locations
- Seven T.G.I.Friday's locations
- Two Olive Garden locations
- A Hard Rock Cafe
- A burgeoning convenience-store hot dog scene, where you can top your hot and juicy hot dog with your favorite "fixin"s 24 hours a day!
- Over 20 Arby's locations
Indianapolis' restaurant district. Pictured, right to left: Olive Garden, Applebee's, Jimmy John's Gourmet Sandwiches, LensCrafters, Dairy Queen
Not all of us can afford to make the trip to "Mashed Potatoes: The City," as it is affectionately known. But don't let that stop you from bringing some Indianapolis-style flair to your Super Bowl party! Here are some tips and recipes to get you started.
Indianapolis-style Ragin' Out Guacamole
¡Ay caramba! Just like they always seem to do, Indianapolans have put their own spin on a Tex-Mex mainstay.
INGREDIENTS:
- 1 jar mayonnaise
- 3 stalks celery
- 1 potato
Pour the mayonnaise into a mixing bowl. Stir gently, folding the mayonnaise into the mayonnaise. Dice up the celery and sprinkle it into the mayonnaise mixture. Then, dice and add the potato. In order to give it that extra guacamole crunch, do not cook the potato.
Microwave for 45 seconds to allow the mayonnaise flavor to scream. Present in a bowl or, if desired, a thermos. Great for dipping oyster crackers into. Caution your guests that it is warm.
Rip-Roarin' Indy 500 Inchiladas, with Indy-Style Carnitas
¡Ay caramba! Much like wheels tend to "spin" on a race car, Indianapolis has put its own "spin" (race car term) on a traditional Mexican dish. With help from a local favorite, Indianapolis-Style Carnitas, this meal is literally racing (race car term) to the finish line (race car term)!
INGREDIENTS:
- 1 package 10" tortillas
- 1 package Oscar Meyer lunchmeat bologna
- 1 cup Taco Bell Mild sauce (now available in grocery stores!)
- 1 16-slice package Kraft American cheese
- 3 bottles Thousand Island dressing
Mash the bologna with the Taco Bell sauce in a mortar and pestle. Now if you don't have a mortar and pestle, don't worry -- not everyone's kitchen looks like the soft-focus photos hanging on the walls of the redesigned Taco Bells (side note: 80 percent of Indianapolis-area Taco Bell locations have now been COMPLETELY redesigned inside and out!). So if you don't have a mortar and pestle you can just use a food processor or Salad Shooter.
Once you have a homogeneous mixture, mold it into roughly the shape of a loaf of bread. Boil for 10 or 20 minutes. This will fill your home with an exotic and wonderful scent! Remove from water, blot it dry, and slice it up, placing a slice in each tortilla.
Wrap up the tortillas and place them in a baking dish. Top with the American cheese and Thousand Island dressing. Ideally, the Thousand Island Dressing should smother the tortillas so thoroughly that it should be dripping out of the baking dish like coolant from a radiator (car term).
Bake for 20 minutes, and there you have it: a true Mexican-American meal that's fit for a king -- er, conquistador!
Milkaritas
¡Ay caramba! You guessed it: Indianapolis has done it again, infusing wild Latin American flavors with the Middle American lifestyle. The result: milk-flavored margaritas, or, "Milkaritas"!
In fact, the Milkarita is woven deep within the history of Indianapolis. In 1820, a trader in cattle furs got lost on his journey to Chicago. With nothing to drink but milk, which soon spoiled, he soon fell ill, entered a state of delirium, and declared, "this would be a terrific place for a city to be!" Days later, he awoke from his stupor to find that he had built a trading post! That trading post is now a Blockbuster Video (of which Indianapolis has 14 ... and counting!).
INGREDIENTS:
- Liquor (optional)
- Skim milk (health)
- Alfalfa sprouts
Mix one part liquor with two parts milk. If you are a child, mix one part milk with zero parts liquor. Grab a handful of alfalfa sprouts and set it on top to give it a wonderful frizzy presentation. Serve in a flour-rimmed mason jar.
Shish-Ke-Bobby Knights!
¡Ay caramba! In recent times, Indianapolis has truly become an international town, and you can see the world's influence on Indy cuisine. For example, the town's spin on shish kebabs reflect an influence from whichever country shish kebabs are from.
INGREDIENTS:
- Wooden skewers
- Ground beef
Mash the ground beef into little balls and boil it until they take on a wonderful grey hue. Put them on the
Okay
Okay, well, we couldn't find any wooden skewers at the Price Chopper.
INGREDIENTS:
- Wooden dowel rods (can be found at Home Depot)
- Ground beef
So anyway yeah, just skewer the beef balls onto the dowel rods. Now you have a true international delicacy! Fiesta time, baby! Light the menorah and ... okay the beef is just crumbling off
Okay don't do this recipe
Pigs in a blanket in a blanket, served with Gut-Shot Macaw
¡Ay caramba! While driving through Indianapolis, you may observe a lot of pro-starch graffiti. Whether it's biscuits, potatoes, or corn meal, this town does starch, and it does it big!
This is a two-part recipe, but it tastes great and is worth the wait!
PIGS IN A BLANKET IN A BLANKET
INGREDIENTS:
- A package of hot dogs
- 8 10-ounce cans refrigerated biscuit dough
Roll each hot dog into biscuit dough. Microwave for one minute. Roll them in more biscuit dough. Microwave another minute. Repeat this process until you run out of dough or until each pig in a blanket in a blanket is roughly the size of an industrial toilet float bulb.
If any of your guests are vegetarian you can offer to make them a blanket in several blankets.
GUT-SHOT MACAW
Gut-Shot Macaw is a dipping sauce that is a staple of local Indianapolis cuisine. In case your guests are apprehensive, let them know that no macaws were harmed in the making of this dish! :)
INGREDIENT:
- A half-empty plastic squirt bottle of ketchup
Store in the back of your refrigerator for a month or two, until beads of condensation form on the inside of the bottle. This will give the ketchup plenty of time to separate, and for a pool of thin plasma-like liquid to form on the surface of the ketchup. Squirt this liquid into a ramekin. Use as a dip. The remaining overly-thick ketchup substance can be refrigerated and later used as a chili base or to make a candle!