Juan Carlos Oviedo (Leo Nunez) Gets One Year, $6 Million From Miami Marlins

Arbitration cases are generally the least interesting things in the world, like other people's dreams, listening to someone describe why you're a bad person for not watching The Wire yet, and the NBA. But every once in a while, an arbitration case comes along that is genuinely fascinating. Unfortunately, we aren't going to see the entire process, as the arbitration case was avoided. From Joe Capozzi:

Juan Carlos Oviedo, formerly Leo Nunez, agrees to $6 million deal with #Marlins, avoiding arbitration

This was a pitcher who would have entered the arbitration hearing as a totally different person!

Agent: My client had 36 saves last year, which ...

Marlins: No he didn't.

Agent: Stop that. You've already been warned.

Marlins: Our closer last year was Leo Nunez. Your client is Juan Carlos Oviedo. Totally different people! Watch this: Hey, Leo!

Oviedo: Yes?

Marlins: Well, okay, fine, but he was supposed to ignore that because he has a different name now.

Breakdancing Marlins Lawyer Wearing a Teal-and-Pink Leisure Suit with Dozens of Lit Sparklers Jutting Out From His Butt and Ears and Face and Butt: Am I on? Is it time?

I'd watch at least six episodes of that show, in case there's someone from VH1 reading. But in the real world, Oviedo née Nunez is going to be paid $6 million to set up Heath Bell, which seems like an awful lot of money. Oviedo née Nunez didn't have an especially good year in 2011, allowing eight home runs with a 4.06 ERA and below-average strikeout rate.

This is Oviedo née Nunez's last year of arbitration, and he will be a free agent after this season. For this season, though, he'll be one of baseball's most expensive setup men.

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