40. Booger protocols -- UPDATED
Here we see Mark Sanchez picking a booger out of his nose and wiping it on his backup quarterback, Mark Brunell. On the GIFs of Winter 2011 list, I used this GIF as an excuse to draw up a list of booger disposable protocols.
Booger Disposal Protocols is a living document, however, and with a year of hindsight, I thought it prudent to revise the list. Please print out this list and post it in a prominent location of your home and/or business.
BOOGER DISPOSAL PROTOCOLS (REVISED JANUARY 2012)
If you have a booger and are unsure of where to dispose of it, please read down this list and use the first available receptacle.
1. Facial tissue
2. Paper towel
4. Toilet paper
27. Out the car window
28. Walgreen's receipt
29. A Skymall
348. The inside of an obselete laptop
349. A plank of wood
350. Your son or daughter's book report
351. Mason jar
352. Your son or daughter's book report (said report is on a book about something other than boogers)
22,481. Veteran NFL quarterback Mark Brunell
22,482. Retired NFL quarterback Tim Rattay
22,483. Tim Rattay's dishwasher (while he is not looking)
22,484. Tim Rattay's silverware drawer
22,485. Tim Rattay's dishwasher (he can totally see you but what is he gonna do about it really)
22,486. A sword!
22,487. Tim Rattay, via mailed envelope
39. The most 'leading 8-1' GIF of all time
Right after this happened, I asked Jeff Sullivan to make a GIF of it. He did, bless his heart, and it's one of my personal favorite GIFs over the last year.
I'm really, really hesitant to ever accuse a professional athlete of "giving up" or "not trying" or whatever, because I think it's very rarely true. If an athlete commits some sort of gaffe or is just not playing well, it's awfully hard to gauge the underlying cause through a TV screen. Maybe he's hurt, or exceptionally worn out, or is just plain having a bad day, or any number of reasons. If you're so certain that it's because he's a lazy bumfraud or what have you, I'm probably suspicious of your reasoning.
But here, there is very little room for debate: shortstop Alex Gonzalez knows his team is leading 8-1, a grounder is within reach, and he does not give two quarters of a shit. I'm not trying to knock him, mind you. I ain't about character judgment. Just calling a spade a spade, is all.
38. DO SOMETHING, GARY BETTMAN
Okay, okay, first of all. From last year's animated GIF list:
And now, in 2011:
WHAT IS YOUR DEAL YOU GUYS
37. An important moment in every young man's life
Remember the first time you realized that three New York-area teams -- the Nets, Mets, and Jets -- all rhymed? I sure do. So happy for this kid.
36. Florida punter springs into action after football fails to punt itself
This was certainly the second-best punter GIF of the year. (Fellow GIF enthusiasts can surely already guess what the No. 1 punter GIF moment will be.) Honestly, there isn't really much to say about this one that I didn't say in the GIFs of October list. From the instruction manual for FOOTBALL™: