2. Judge Reinhold filling an ice cube tray.
3. Senior circuit speed-walking.
4. Your uncle's retelling of the time he felt he was over-charged for a transmission flush at the Jiffy Lube.
5. Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.
6. Jonathan Franzen's workout journals. (Excerpt: "Gym.")
7. An eternity of carpet stores and farm reports.
8. Late-era Shaq dunking.
9. Joe Buck: a fragrance by Joe Buck.
11. A sportswriter dispensing opinions on food.
12. Yawning: a film by Terence Malick.
13. The Nas songs where he's supposed to be Jesus or whatever.
14. A Dave Matthews cover band cover band.
15. Every Irish beer that isn't Guinness.
16. Those parts of Faulkner novels where a guy takes 38 adverbs just to walk down a road.
17. The stretch of I-40 between Memphis and Nashville.
18. Every passage printed on a hot sauce label that is headed with, "Our Story."
(With an assist from Spencer Hall)