The List: Honors and accomplishments stripped from Lance Armstrong

Mario Tama

Lance Armstrong is getting stripped of honors left and right. What's next?

1. Seven Tour de France victories

2. Times in 2006 and 2007 NY Marathon and 2008 Boston Marathon

3. Marriage to Sheryl Crow

4. Note tenderly placed in lunchbox by mother at age 8 reading, "you're my special little guy"

5. That time he threw a crumpled-up piece of paper in a wastebasket without even looking

6. Ticket stub from Audioslave show

7. 2003 appearance on Today Show, including pre-segment compliment from Katie Couric

8. The money he saved on his insurance by switching to Geico

9. Burlap sack full of Subway Sub Club tickets

10. Flat-screen HDTV he installed after EPO injection

11. All punches revoked from "Frequent Car Wash" punch card

12. "Don't blame me, i voted Bush" bumper sticker chiseled off bumper of Tercel

13. Friendship with Matthew McConaughey

14. Must re-confirm his birth date the next time he visits bacardi.com

15. All family game night victories, up to and including Boggle

(With assistance from Matt Ufford and Jon Bois)

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