It's been a long, wild, crazy, wacky, unbelievable, exhilarating baseball season. Really, just whatever adjectives you feel like using, those would apply. But now that the 2012 World Series is in the books and the San Francisco Giants have been crowned the champions of the world and the new collective Presidents of the United States of America (or however it works), there will be no more baseball of any sort for about 89 days. Give or take. Luckily, the best baseball players in the world (that were still playing nationally televised baseball in America) gave us some crummy plays to leave us with. That sure was nice of them.
Meanwhile, in football, there was also dumb stuff happening. We've chronicled the worst of everything for you in convenient (or not-so-convenient, if you have a really slow Internet connection or hate pictures that move) GIF form. Please enjoy the animations and join us next week, when we just might have some terrible basketball to enjoy together.
Here are the worst MLB and NFL plays for the week of Oct. 22-29.
Worst Pitch (Location)
Pitcher: Anibal Sanchez
Date: Oct. 27
There were very, very few bad pitches thrown in the 2012 World Series. Notably bad ones, at any rate. This was one of them. Anibal Sanchez, whom national broadcasters insist on calling "Annabelle," because they are all self-centered white bigots, picked a bad time to pitch one bad inning. His old nemesis the Giants scored two entire runs against him in Game 3, which of course was insurmountable, what with the Detroit Tigers playing offense like they thought hits caused cancer.
Worst Pitch (Result)
Pitcher: Al Alburquerque
Batter: Pablo Sandoval
Date: Oct. 24
Result: 108.7 mph home run (speed off bat)
This, of course, was the third home run of Game 1 for Pablo Sandoval, who joins famous fat men Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson and Albert Pujols as the only girthy gents to launch three taters in one game of the Fall Classic. It was also, of course, not a terrible location. But since Sandoval would swing at seven of 10 pitches thrown into the opposing dugout, he mashed that tater good. Who knew that the World Series was pretty much over at this point? Not me!
Date: Oct. 28, Oct. 27
The Tigers, as previously mentioned, did not have an awesome time at the plate during the World Series. All three guys here have some pretty awesome reactions to their terrible whiffs against the Giants bullpen in Games 3 and 4. In order, here is how I would classify their reactions to egregiously striking out.
I would say that's pretty accurate.
Worst Defensive Play
Date: Oct. 27, Oct. 24
The Giants made the best defensive plays of the World Series, but they also managed to make the two worst! They ALSO managed to win the World Series, so maybe defense doesn't matter in baseball? I'm not sure; I'll have to crunch the numbers. Anyway, the Brandons Connection here managed to kick the ball around on both ends of what should probably have been a 6-3 put-out. The strange thing is that Crawford appeared to rush his throw even though the grounder was hit by Delmon Young, who is the oldest, slowest 27-year-old that has ever played baseball.
In the other silly defensive play of the week, Angel Pagan managed to gift the Tigers a two-run homer by deflecting a ball over the fence off of his glove during garbage time. The play accounted for precisely 33% of the Tigers offense in the World Series. You would think the national FOX broadcasters during the World Series, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, would make some mention of the fact that the ball would not have been a home run had Pagan not attempted to catch it, but nope! They didn't mention that even once! I guess they know their job better than I do! Take that, me!
Team: New York Jets
Date: Oct. 28
Oh, hey, it's our old friends the Jets! How's it been going, guys? Oh. Ohhhhh. Oh. Good lord. Yeah, that's ... against the Dolphins, huh? Really? With Tim Tebow in as a blocker? While the defense takes extreme advantage of the fact that you have Tim Tebow in as a blocker? Okay. Well, cool. Look, it's been good to see you. No, we'll give you a call soon. Yeah, we should totally hang out. That would be great. Well, we gotta go. Hey, you too.
Player: Andrew Luck
Date: Oct. 28
It's tough being a rookie in the NFL. Especially if you're the No. 1 overall draft pick. But at a certain point, you have to hope that the veterans on the team will pull Andrew Luck aside and give him some invaluable tips. Tips like, "Hey, if we're wearing white jerseys this week, don't throw the ball directly at the one guy you see who's wearing powder blue." It's that kind of expertise that would spare the poor rook a lot of embarrassment. But on the other hand, we wouldn't have this hilarious GIF. A real Sophie's choice here.
Worst Dropped Pass
Player: Robert Meachem
Date: Oct. 28
On the other end of the bad-pass express, we've got Robert Meachem. Geez, Robert, do you realize how much trouble Philip Rivers has had over the last two weeks of getting the ball to his own players? And then you had to go screw things up by dropping what was basically a perfect pass. Your reaction of abject horror after the play is a nice start, but it's time to stand in the corner and think about what you've done.
Player: Antonio Brown
Date: Oct. 28
Sure, this touchdown didn't count, but running backwards for this amount of time is fairly uncalled for. Fairly. Full disclosure: I'm a massive fan of showboating and hot-dogging. You know how when they hit a home run in Little League, the team acts like it's a walk-off, jumping up and down on home plate? They do that for EVERY home run. I think MLB should do that, too. When people say, "Act like you've been there before," I wish everyone would act like they've never been there before. I think Terrell Owens' touchdown celebrations were works of art. And even I think this backwards-running thing is a little silly.
I can't front, though: this is still awesome.
Worst Car Ride
Player: Richard Goodman
Date: Oct. 28
The saddest, longest car ride. There are times that you want to sit in the rumble seat and there are times you are MADE to sit in the rumble seat. The second one is no fun. The forlorn Richard Goodman is just so sad. And the GIF just keeps going. For extra sadness, please open this video in a different tab and listen to it while you watch the GIF over and over again. You're welcome.
Date: Oct. 22
Seriously, you guys. Sometimes a rain delay is a perfectly acceptable course of action.