The Big Ten, where I learned the truth about despair, as will you. There's a reason why this conference is the best-mustachiod conference on earth: Danny Hope. Every man who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to Pasadena. So easy. So simple. And like shipwrecked men turning to MAC football from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without Danny Hope. So, as I terrorize the Midwest, I will feed its people Danny Hope to poison their souls. I will let them believe they can survive so that you can watch them clamoring over each other to stay in the snow. You can watch me torture an entire city, and when you have truly understood the depth of your failure, we will fulfill Bernie Bierman's destiny. We will destroy the Big Ten and then, when it is done and the Big Ten is ashes, then you have my permission to play basketball.
Goldy wins Halloween as far as I'm concerned, but here's a look at what else happened in the world of sports.
N.C. State quarterback Mike Glennon dressed up as his coach and then immediately went to bed at 7:45 p.m:
See, this one time in the '90s, a man had his penis cut off:
Falcons safety Thomas DeCoud brought the Fresh Prince to the office:
Conducted today's interviews in full costume LMAO instagr.am/p/Rdp5_7hbIy/— Thomas DeCoud (@TwentyAte28) October 31, 2012
Bryce Harper needs to GROW UP because NOBODY EVER WON HALLOWEEN without taking it AS SERIOUSLY AS AMAZON DEFORESTATION:
And Texas A&M superhero Johnny Manziel dressed as a non-Reveille dog:
Ghetto Flash! USC safety T.J. McDonald is the Ghetto Flash: