The List: People attending the Brooklyn Nets opener

Bruce Bennett

The Brooklyn Nets will be making their debut soon. We bet a lot of people will be in attendance!

White woman with dreadlocks bemoaning lack of vegan options

People with a favorite farm in the Hudson valley

Bill Murray

Sesame Street's Elmo and his second wife Tabitha

Man with Brooklyn Nets neck tattoo featuring at least two typos

Matt Ufford

Women who live in Hoboken who can't shut up about their horses

Will Forte, who will be greeted by everyone walking by with, "Oh shit, it's Bill Hader!"

La Leche League members breastfeeding directly behind opponent's basket

3,491 bros who had to leave their Chrome messenger bags at the gate

People who have actually read Infinite Jest

People who have lied about reading Infinite Jest

A New York Times reporter who has never been over the Williamsburg Bridge writing about "Brook-lyn"

Brooklyn native The Man In The Yellow Hat and his new monkey, "I'm Not Curious And Therefore Not Dead After Getting Involved In A Drug Deal Fred"

One confused-looking 50-year-old man holding a "REINSTATE LANCE ARMSTRONG" sign

All the hooded sweatshirts.

Ken Jeong

Assorted Van Gundys

U-God, sitting by himself in upper pavilion of seats he has cordoned off in attempt to catch foul basketball

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