NASCAR Election Day results: Unprovoked assaults, Kevin Harvick, salmon among big winners

Tom Pennington

The polls are closed, the results are in and the winners from our various NASCAR Election Day races have been decided:

• The closest race was between the two frontrunners for "What victory celebration would you like to see?" The option of seeing the race winner punch the second-place driver in the face for no reason beat the winning pit crew performing "Gangnam Style" by a 48-45 margin. In total, they were separated by just 22 votes.

• In the day's biggest rout – and also the issue which received the largest turnout – Kevin Harvick won the "Who would you rather drink a beer with?" competition by a margin of 69-30 percent over Brad Keselowski. More than 3,000 votes were cast in that election.

• With all the votes counted, 57 percent of NASCAR fans proclaimed John Wes Townley as "the greatest driver" (42 percent said he was simply a "great" driver).

• More than half of NASCAR fans (52 percent) said they do not want Jimmie Johnson to win any more championships. But 17 percent said they want him to win every championship, which was tied with "3.7 more championships" for second place.

Mashed potatoes claimed 56 percent of the vote, defeating mac and cheese (43 percent) in a closely contested KFC race.

• An overwhelming number of people (64 percent) said they would rather spin out an old lady who goes 20 mph under the speed limit in the fast lane than wreck Kyle Busch (35 percent).

• On the topic of which venue should host a NASCAR race, Rockingham thumped the competition with 55 percent. The Long Beach Grand Prix course was a distant second (18 percent), followed by a race around a fan's neighborhood (15 percent) and an aircraft carrier (10 percent).

• Finally, fans were asked to evaluate the following statement: "Brian France is the CEO of NASCAR." Salmon (the fish, not the color) earned 29 percent of the vote to win, followed by the letter 'J' (22 percent). Seventeen percent said they were "undecided," 15 percent said they "disagree" and 14 percent chose salmon (the color, not the fish).

Thank you to all who voted on these critically important issues.

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