Fumblr is the fake blogging platform that examines the NFL through invented memes. It runs every Wednesday during the season. (Probably not next week, though.)
Joe Flacco began Sunday's game against Denver by losing a fumble on the Ravens' third offensive play, which led to a field goal. Down 10-0 at the end of the first half, the Ravens faced first-and-goal on the Denver 4-yard line. Flacco threw an interception to Chris Harris, who took it 98 yards the other way for a score. Between the field goal and the 14-point swing, Flacco's turnovers MIGHT be to blame for the Ravens' 17-point loss. To the memes!
And now... FLACCOING!
So much better than Tebowing.
Of course, even the best quarterbacks lose games sometimes. I just get particular joy from Flacco screwing up because he has repeatedly blown through Confidence Town on his way to the Zero Self-Awareness Depot. As he famously said last April:
"I assume everybody thinks they're a top-five quarterback. I mean, I think I'm the best. I don't think I'm top-five, I think I'm the best. I don't think I'd be very successful at my job if I didn't feel that way. I mean, c'mon? That's not really too tough of a question."
No one on Earth thinks Joe Flacco is the best quarterback in the NFL. That's not hyperbole. I mean it: you could take someone who's never seen an American football game before -- an African tribesman, say, or a Russian journalist visiting from Moscow -- show them any game between the Ravens and Patriots or Broncos or Packers, and by the end of the 4th quarter, they would understand that the guy wearing purple is the lesser quarterback.
And that's not bad. Plenty of us are mediocre to better than average. I'm a salaried writer who's confident in his abilities, but I'm not an ELITE writer. Having a sense of my limitations allows me to improve -- or at least minimize -- my weaknesses. Give it a try sometime, Joe.
IDEA FOR VIRAL VIDEO: Michelle Janneke hurdles Ed Reed then does the Gangnam Style dance MUST CREDIT FUMBLR.
NBC treated the viewers of Sunday Night Football to Kyle Love's stunning physique -- stunning in that most of us don't expect man-boob fat to spill out of the sleeve of a professional athlete. Go ahead and watch the GIF: he even points to his arm, as if to say, "Yes, this is the moob spillage that nothing can contain."
Don't be fooled by the Cardinals decisive win on Sunday -- the offense is still embarrassing. Over the last five games, Larry Fitzgerald has 10 catches for 89 yards and no touchdowns. Reminder: Larry Fitzgerald, after Calvin Johnson, is THE BEST RECEIVER IN FOOTBALL. And he's averaging two catches for 18 yards over the last five weeks.
I'm not a Cardinals fan, and I don't own Fitzgerald in any fantasy leagues, but those stats make me hate John Skelton and Ryan Lindley and the Cardinals front office for acquiring them and Kevin Kolb for getting hurt. All of these people have robbed us of precious highlights.
"Barney's movie had heart, but Football in the Face had a football in the face."
No, and he never will be -- at least not in New York.
You know, I started this Tim Tebow fumblog with the certainty that Mark Sanchez would play like Mark Sanchez and lose his job. I just didn't count on Rex Ryan being canny enough to look past Tebow and elevate Greg McElroy to the starting job. Despite the Jets' memorable failures -- the buttfumbled Thanksgiving massacre, Monday night's magnificently Sanchez'd implosion -- the Jets have somehow managed to hover near .500 despite the worst receiving corps in the league, a quarterback who leads the NFL in turnovers, and the loss of their franchise cornerback. Rex Ryan probably won't keep his job, but c'mon: that's not the worst batch of lemonade.
Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this could have been a playoff team if Ryan had just started Tebow. I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW.