Rather than wait for columnists to bait readers into blind Internet anger, we at SB Nation believe in setting the curve ourselves and doing so honestly. On Troll Tuesdays, we attempt to construct the most obnoxious column on earth. Today: Let's talk about the Redskins.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- You may find this shocking, but Washington D.C. is a town full of small men with big personalities. Half the people you meet want to stop and filibuster about their resume, and if you're trying to bridge the gap between Democrats and Republicans, you may as well try to part the Red Sea.
But don't jump off a fiscal cliff just yet.
The Redskins are back, and bringing everyone together one win at a time.
Just look at Monday night. With the ESPN cameras rolling, FedEx Field was rockin'. The Hogs were blockin', pads were poppin', and the Redskins were knockin' the Giants all over the field. It was beautiful, After decades in the darkness, the Redskins are back in the limelight and better than lever.
Most of the mainstream media credits the Redskins' phenom Robert Griffin III. He runs like Riggins, passes like Theisman, and smiles like a kid on Christmas. He's great. But crediting one great player totally misses the real story in all this.
It's the owner, stupid.
For years, the first thing you ever heard about the Redskins was that they'd never win with Daniel Snyder in charge. Defending Snyder in this town was about as popular as defending cigarette companies, and the Redskins were a punchline. We saw angry local columnists writing classless guides to hating the Redskins' owner, fans cursed his name in the parking lot, and while Dan Snyder emptied his bank account every year to make the Redskins a winner, the rest of the league laughed.
Well don't look now, but Dan The Man finally did it.
Who's laughing now?
They may not be a dynasty yet, but with Mike Shanahan on board and Griffin throwing passes, the touchdowns are inevitable. The kid who grew up loving the Redskins finally turned the home town team into something the whole world can love. Why isn't this the biggest story in sports?
When it was over Monday Night, Snyder strolled into the locker room and told a team employee, "I hate those motherf***ers."
If it were anyone else, the mainstream media would jump all over that quote and worship the passion. Isn't that the owner everyone wants?
Ah, but see there's a dirty little secret about Dan The Man: He's too successful. Fans and the mainstream media resent him for spending too much. In a society that preys on born winners, Dan Snyder is the one percent, and because he took it upon himself to build an empire, the whole world won't forgive him. Truly bizarre stuff.
Just look at the facts: On Monday afternoon a Washington Post reporter called Robert Griffin III the Michael Jordan of the NFL. He might be right, too. But if that's the case, who's more responsible for a winning team? Michael Jordan, or the man who brought him to town? This could be happening in St. Louis if it weren't for Snyder's foresight.
Last April, he did what all great CEOs do. With his back against the wall, he doubled down. Sent two first round picks to St. Louis, going all-in on the kid from Texas who nobody believed in. There were more Redskins jokes, idiot columnists joked about another "Offseason Super Bowl" for the Skins, and then ... Whaddya know? Everyone's favorite punchline got the last laugh.
And even now, nobody's willing to credit Dan The Man. If an owner builds a winner in the forest, does anybody hear it, or are they too busy writing petty articles about the owner cutting some trees down?
Dan Snyder is proof that if you believe it, you can achieve it. There are millions of kids around the country watching the Redskins who want to grow up to be just like RG3, but what about being more like Dan Snyder? When RG3 drops knees and points to the sky after every touchdown, where is he looking?
Right up there to the owners box.
It's important keep sports in perspective. Griffin knows he's just a football player; Dan Snyder is a CEO who saved a falling giant. He signs the checks and flies the jets and never settles for second best. Some of the politicos in this town could learn a thing or two from a guy like that. Here's a man who knows what he wants and then goes out to get it done.
Is that so complicated?
Maybe Barack can take notes when the Redskins visit the White House. Because these are the facts: Dan The Man had a plan, and the results speak for themselves. It's the best story in sports: a kid who loved a team, grew up to buy them for himself, and turned 'em into contenders.
A kid who became a man before our eyes. A man who weathered adversity and didn't flinch. A man who looked the critics in the eye, and then looked away, because behind those sunglasses he had a vision that the critics couldn't see.
If the media can't love him, maybe it's their loss. They don't get to be a part of the tribe this time--that same group of braves tearing up the warpath for a town so in need of a real winner.
And all this happening without a word for the man who made it happen? Without so much as a love note for the man who made all this happen?
Maybe you're all playing Hail to the Chief to the wrong hombre, Washington.