Hello, everyone, and welcome to Week 29 of THIS WEEK IN GIFs. We're growing ever closer to GIF TOURNAMENT III, which you should look out for around the first of the year. As with every week, the GIF we vote as the winner will receive an automatic bid into said tournament. I would tell you to vote wisely, but ultimately you should feel free to vote as wisely or unwisely as you please.
Voting will remain open until 11 p.m. Sunday. Before we get going, Matt Ufford, Dan Rubenstein, and myself would like to have a word about our favorite GIFs:
(Via Bill Hanstock's Week in Worst)
If you're set on selling a fake injury to stop the clock in the NFL, this is the risk: if you can't sell it, you have to sprint off the field and demonstrate in no uncertain terms, "I WAS LYING EVERYBODY SORRY EVERYBODY I'M GOING TO GET OFF THE FIELD NOW THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU!!!"
As Bill said, "this is like the Eagles' season, but in reverse."
HOLY SHIT IT'S GUY FAWKES
Consider that a half-court shot, in the NBA, covers about 16 yards, which is about a yard short of a very short NFL field goal. Instead of simply clearing a couple bars, of course, the player must fit the ball into a goal just barely larger than the ball itself, and the ball is situated perpendicular to him. I don't understand how the Hell this ever happens. Remember that 60 Minutes interview in which LeBron James just casually chucks the ball underhand from 3/4 court and swishes it? I pretty much regard that as a miracle.
I don't even understand how I hit a three-pointer when I do it. So either I'm kind of dumb, or basketball brings out supernatural powers in human beings. That might be a false dilemma.
Montee Ball is the one Hedo Turkoglu tried to warn us all about. The number of people who understood that joke is roughly equivalent to the number of defenders Montee Ball is capable of stiff-arming, juking, or otherwise humiliating on a single play.
I'm used to looking at embarrassments like this and saying, "ha ha ha he is old." But I'm 30 years old now and I really need to cut that shit out.
Heyyyyy guys, confession: "calling the hogs" is a thing I didn't know about until this press conference. In the formative years, which y'all spent learning about things like this, I spent knowing what Jeff Treadway's batting average was. I feel like I missed out on a lot, but I suppose it's never too late to appreciate what looks like the world's most bashful faith healer.
As I noted in the video, this GIF is not, of course, "from" this week. But it was discovered by the Internet this week, it's funny, and it was a bit of a light GIF week, so I decided to bend the rules a little.
First off: look at that GIF, and then look at this GIF.
You have a back-slapping problem, Jim, is what you have. Secondly: if this leaves you wanting more Screech, I suggest you check out Dustin Diamond's chess video.