Andrew Luck signs with Nike, gets pithy catchphrase

Andrew Luck, the expected No. 1 pick of the Indianapolis Colts in the 2012 NFL Draft, has signed with Nike. The brand takes over the NFL's apparel and uniform manufacturing next month from Reebok.

"I look forward to pursuing the next chapter of my career with such an innovative company supporting me," Luck said of Nike in a release.

As expected, a hype video soon followed the news. Here's the video and some thoughts.

What he's doing: Working out, doing some sweet power cleans and what I'm guessing is some kind of sweeping preparation for rookie hazing by the Colts' janitorial staff. I don't know. I'm fat.

Suggestion: Tear the sleeves off your shirt. That's the only way to prove muscular superiority in the gym, bro.

Catchphrase: "People will tell you all you can do now is wait. But you know better. So you ignore them and do what you've always done: Make your own luck."

Impression: Get it?!?! Make your own luck? His last name is Luck! Move over "Witness." Marketing gold. I want to buy some shoes.

What this reminded me of after the jump.

What he's doing: It's Ravishing Rick Rude, you fat, ugly sweat hog. Of course he's working out! How else could he confidently swivel his hips in front of thousands of "Pittsburgh piss ants" or "Madison morons?"

Catchphrase: "When skill collides with opportunity, it's going to be the end."

Catchphrase 2: "Ultimate Warrior, I know that the climb to the top is not an easy thing to do. But what you're about to find out, is that to get shoved to the bottom is not an easy thing to take."

Impression: Severe mustache envy.

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