SOUTH REGION -- SECOND ROUND
(11) MIKE PELFREY/WORST BALK EVER
(3) JACK WILSON IS JACK WILSON
(11) Hello. I am MIKE PELFREY/WORST BALK EVER.
When last we met, I narrowly defeated WALL-RUN HEAD KICK, 731 to 657. I like to imagine that the umpire wasn't calling a balk. He was merely pointing and yelling, "Hey! Baseball! It's a baseball! And I'm a baseball umpire! I got all my umpire shit on and everything! And I'm on a baseball diamond, too! I declare baseball! Let's get cookin', baby!"
(3) HI I AM JACK WILSON IS JACK WILSON
I WON THE LAST ROUND OF THE VOTE BY I DON'T KNOW LIKE A THOUSAND TO A BILLION OR SOMETHING OH GOD IT'S A BASEBALL OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
THERE IS A BASEBALL DID ANYONE TELL THE UMPIRE ABOUT THIS OH GOD