EAST REGION -- SECOND ROUND
(12) DUSTIN BROWN IS HAVING TROUBLE
(4) RUNAWAY MEDICAL CART
(12) Hello, everyone. I am DUSTIN BROWN IS HAVING TROUBLE.
Last week I pulled a resounding 12-5 upset by defeating ALBERT HAYNESWORTH IS A HARD WORKER, 992 to 293. I am one of two "hockey player does not know how to drink from a bottle" GIFs in this tournament, and both of us managed to survive the first round.
Do not under-estimate me. The hockey fan lobby has proven to be a powerful one in this tournament. If they hit the polls in great enough numbers, the championship match-up may just be two hockey doofuses who don't know how to drink. Which would be highly unexpected. You could pull up any GIF from this tournament, and chances are, you could look at it and say, "that dude is definitely drunk."
(4) I am RUNAWAY MEDICAL CART.
In the first round I routed CLIFF LEE WAVES OFF HIS OWN GROUNDER, a fan favorite, by a 1,029-288 score. This cart is having what industry experts refer to as a "madcap adventure." In fact, if you look up "madcap" in the dictionary, there's a little pull-out flipbook insert of this GIF.
Also, I was titled "MEDICAL CART" because Jon is a total idiot. Yes, it's a "medical cart." Those orange things on the back are, of course, "medicine cones." Yes, that's it. Moron.